I fear I am in danger unless I keep faith and ignore the part of my brain that tells me this will never get any better than it is...
h is trying he just doesn't seem to know what to say or do...and despite the fact that I basically am "holding up the cue cards for him" (is what my c said) h still doesn't know what to do.
was reading "charcoals" thread over in newcommers..she is a potential waw but is trying...her h has been asking her to commit and she runs off to the library or book store...his asking..pleading for her to commit is pushing her away...and yet she is commited at least temporarily she has not left, not filed, cut off om, is comming here seeking advice etc... interesting..I told her that perhaps since she cannot pledge her undying love to h to show him that commitment she could simply tell him that she is commited to trying to make the r one in wich they can both feel happy and fullfilled. she had not thought of putting it that way...wish I could be an annonomous person telling that to my h and getting him to say it to me. but then I should simply look and see that h is commited to trying just in his way...he doesn't always say or do what I want and sometimes doesn't say or do anything at all..but h is here and I have to place more meaning in that....he didn't have to come home as in his own words..we were doing ok with him gone.
charcoal mentioned a book "a piece of crap" she grabbed of the shelf for h...she began reading it and it made sense to her...it contains (loss for word...worksheets etc) to do together to open the line...get to know your partner better etc...maybe I will pick it up..look through it and see if it would be something non-threatening for h and I to do...make a game of it or something ya know.
I don't want to be un-happy and I don't want h to be un-happy...neither one of us wants to leave (well not really) so then something has to be done...if we can do it in a fun way then it is still getting done.
I have hope...for how long I don't know but patience is something I must keep.
btw...h finally mentioned v day...after a comercial for v stuff...said so what do you want to do? I told him I was leaving it to his discretion..so we'll see what happens.
