Snooping can be a killer...but then sometimes it is a an answer you have been praying for...I would have NEVER known about OW had I not snooped...it was important for me to know...I think it was even more important for H that it was exposed...due to childhood issues he got too good at suppressing feelings...and these would come back to haunt him later...I am afraid that he would have seared his conscience so bad that he might have never recovered if he had kept this secret...but it seems anytime he did anything that was really "bad"...he always left a clue...got sloppy...or complacent...and I always was led to "look" at something that normally I wouldn't have done...
The ONLY reason I found out about OW was that I went to visit him at his office...or at least see if he was there...he was...I looked in his car and saw his cell phone....no wonder he didn't answer...I had keys to his car...opened it and took the cell phone out to clear all my calls to him...but noticed there were many many VM's and missed calls...so I started listening...at first I thought the voice I was hearing was my own...I thought I had left the message as it was worded and spoken like me...but "she" used a profanity...and I don't...so I listened more...and more...you see she left about 8 messages for him that night...and he said I called him too much, ha!...a little more investigation and found out he had been calling her and vice versa for months before he left...I never ever suspected an OW...
I think once you KNOW what is going on...you don't need to snoop for more...then it adds to the pain...
impatient...I do hope things go well for you...I hope counseling will help...I know that it didn't do much for H and I in the beginning and when he was ready to come home I had found this place and it helped me handle things correctly...
