Quote: Is it possible that you fell into some of the usual R patterns of the past?
yup! foolishly I expected that i would be h's friend not his only friend of course becuase he is not mine. but I had hoped that we would do things together and be like best friends or at least close.
I still go out at least once a week and do my own thing although when h first came around there were nights when I would take off by myself and go to the movies or to a bar to play darts (can't do that cause it will lead to trouble feeling the way I do, last time I wasn't there 15 min shooting darts by myself and a man asked to play with me) don't mind going to the movies alone (actually I recomend it now)
I don't want to just go out all the time with my friends or myself and have my fun elsewhere...I want for h to be a part of my life...yes I want my own life and for him to have his...but I would like for OUR life to be more than put the kids to bed and then turn on the tv and that is the way it is unless I say let's go out (actually it's a 180 for him to accept, as before even when we'd get an invitation he'd decline...but hell I'd still go)
I wonder what if anything h will have to say to me tonight.
could be good, could be bad...I'm actually not even expecting him to say anything..once dd falls asleep I'm going to start painting. (have to wait til she's asleep as I don't want to have to go to pick her up while I have painty hands)
