Given the "givens", you should be proud and happy about how you pulled it all off. Not spewing, strangling or screaming, are in and of themselves, serious accomplishments in my book. Let alone maintaining an upbeat outlook. There are silver linings in all this and if I ever make a movie about MLCers, WAS's, I want to put in some of their wackiest statements and reactions. Like I told you, the other day a woman I know who left her h and kids for OM, said she'd mind if her h were to date or bring women to their home. I told her that was a "bit hypocritical" and she actually had to process that for a minute before reluctantly saying, "I can see that..."
WTH???!!! Her h was far from perfect and like I said, there was some violence at both ends so in THAT case, getting away from each other probably was best for the kids. But still, the whole cluelessness on the WAS's part is stunning. Only exceeded by the selfishness at times.
There was no OW in my sitch, as far as I know. As I write this, let me tell you that I am terrified at moments. I am taking a HUGE risk from a divorce standpoint b/c if we were to divorce here and now in this state, I'd get full physical custody (joint legally, but he'd be 3000 miles away so from a practical standpoint, I'd have her full time except some holidays) and alimony (btw, I don't like the word "alimony" in my sitch, but would call it restitution b/c I put him thru Veterinary school--yes he has 2 medical degrees-med school and the whole shebang...). Now, where I'm going my biggest fear is that if he goes bonkers again, we'll get joint custody and that would mean I'd have to stay up there until d10 turns 18 and that could really kill me. Literally. I had a really hard time in the winter there. Plus, the financial arrangements would suck for me comparatively. I took 7 years out of my career to stay at home, and since h was rarely home I cannot see how I could have done things differently--so my income is simply lower than it would have been otherwise. No regrets as a mother though, fwiw. So, I'm crossing my fingers. Hoping all works out well and working BIG time on a PMA like you have.
Sorry to hijack. Too busy and computer illiterate to figure out how to start a new thread for myself updating. But will soon. Hang in there Larry. It has been 25 months apart now for us, (with visits along the way though) and I'm joining him Thursday, the day after our 26th anniversary...I would Not have predicted this back then.
Time will tell, for all of us. Keep on keeping on, GAL and staying with the PMA. How can it hurt you? It can't, and it is doing so much for your kids that you will never know. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
