W moving out & says that it's permanent - Part 3

[SolidMechanic]

If you don't want a divorce, don't fill in any paper work. She might never file for divorce. A lot of divorces that are filed never get completed. If she wants the divorce, wait for her to come to you. So far, she seems to "kind of, sort of" want it. Since she hasn't taken any definite steps, you still have hope.

However, in my state, the way the divorce laws are, if I fight the divorce process it will only be viewed at "further evidence" that the marriage is "irretrievable broken". I really wish there was something more I could do, but there really isn't.

So far, you're not talking about fighting anything. Your wife hasn't filed. There is nothing to fight.

The courts have prepared a set of documents that can be used to file for divorce. I looks to be remarkably simple. We don't have children and I think we can agree on splitting things up on our own. Basically, it's "fill in the blanks" and check a few boxes and file.... While I don't want to make this "easy" for my wife, it's going to happen. If she gets attorneys involved, then chances are that I'll really get screwed. Plus, I hate attorneys and really hate the thought of making them richer.

There are a lot of sources for do-it-yourself divorces. Go to a local book store for divorce kits that will explain your state's laws and provide the proper forms and procedures.

Should I fill out the paperwork, with my wife as the "plaintiff" and me as the "defendant" and get this divorce thing done???

Only if you want a divorce. Like I said, I wouldn't fill out any paperwork, unless you can't stand it anymore and want the divorce for yourself. In that case, you make yourself the "plaintiff" and your wife the "defendant". I don't know why you want to make it easier for your wife.

Am I crazy???

Yes. But I'll cut you some slack this time.

There is also "Mediation" as an option. But the way I'm understanding mediation, is that it's just there to help you split up the stuff and handle kids, etc. It's not to try to keep the marriage together. Is this correct???

All a mediator does is make an uncontested divorce easier and cheaper. Mediators don't help people stay together. Marriage councilors are supposed to do that. And as long as your wife won't go, you are not in that game.

I hope that everyone has better luck than I've had in saving their marriages. It takes two to make a marriage work, but only one to make the divorce. I know that I will be okay and will find happiness and peace in my life.

Amen, brother.

SM