It was amazing to me how quick the packing went when H moved. Obviously if we moved all our stuff it would be a lot more work - but it just blew me away, how can it take only a couple hours and he's gone??
Keep focusing on the good stuff, and work on detaching as much as possible.
Can you be there calmly when he's leaving? Act like you're there with a friend or roommate who's moving out?
If not... find something else to do. Really. Friends, family you can go visit? Go to a movie? (a FUN one, not a downer) Anything... just do what is best for you, what's easiest and what keeps you sane.
Your H sounds a lot like mine on move-out day. The first night he slept away from me, he actually planned to stay until I went to bed "so I can tuck you in." It's so surreal, I know. I think the fact that he's easing you into this - telling you when he'd be out, telling you that he's sleeping away tonight - it all shows that he cares. Which makes it that much harder, I know.
I agree that he's telling you what he needs and you're missing it. You sound SO much like me - especially the shifting boundaries part. I am currently piecing but it's really up and down - and I soo wish I HAD set firm boundaries and stuck to them. Just last week, someone opened my eyes to the fact that I basically "told" H he could do anything he wanted, treat me poorly, be out and doing who-knows-what, and I'd be here for him no matter what. Yuck. There's loyalty and then there's just plain doormat.
Do believe he's moving out - there's nothing to be gained from denying any part of that. Just take it a day (hour, minute..) at a time. You'll be ok.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
