Hello Everyone! It's been a while since I've posted here, but I wanted to update everyone and also to ask for some advice.
The short version is that I'm still continuing counseling while my wife always finds some "good reason" to not go to counseling. (With or without me.) Mentally, I'm doing pretty good at this point. I'm feeling better about myself and know that I've tried to make it work and repair things. I'm still having trouble accepting that it's over and don't want to give up. However, in my state, the way the divorce laws are, if I fight the divorce process it will only be viewed at "further evidence" that the marriage is "irretrievable broken". I really wish there was something more I could do, but there really isn't.
My wife and I have remained "friendly" towards each other so far -- I think we are both trying to be careful to not hurt each other.
In my work I've other prepared contracts and other legal documents. While I'm not a lawyer, I have some experience with the legal system. The courts have prepared a set of documents that can be used to file for divorce. I looks to be remarkably simple. We don't have children and I think we can agree on splitting things up on our own. Basically, it's "fill in the blanks" and check a few boxes and file.... While I don't want to make this "easy" for my wife, it's going to happen. If she gets attorneys involved, then chances are that I'll really get screwed. Plus, I hate attorneys and really hate the thought of making them richer.
Should I fill out the paperwork, with my wife as the "plaintiff" and me as the "defendant" and get this divorce thing done???
Am I crazy???
There is also "Mediation" as an option. But the way I'm understanding mediation, is that it's just there to help you split up the stuff and handle kids, etc. It's not to try to keep the marriage together. Is this correct??? Has anyone had any experience with mediation where the mediator helped keep the marriage from splitting up???
Any other advice or "words of wisdom"???
I really appreciate all the support and help that I've received from this forum and Michele's books have been great. I hope that everyone has better luck than I've had in saving their marriages. It takes two to make a marriage work, but only one to make the divorce. I know that I will be okay and will find happiness and peace in my life.
