I'm in your camp, though I wouldn't have an au pair. I think vacations can be extremely important learning experiences for the kids, and that parents do need to make sacrifices, but too much is a problem and can harm the marriage.
Chrome,
I think your take on this, and to an extent Corri's too, is a little too far to one side. There is no reason why a vacation can't be split between kid's and parent's time. If the kids throw a fit about this, then that is the parent's fault for not establishing healthy boundaries. There's just way too much evidence on here of the consequence of not giving the marriage enough priority for it to be pushed aside, even on, or maybe especially on, vacation.
