It is ironic that just as you decide you want to get things over with, his lawyer hands you easy excuses for delay.
At this point I would really suggest that you do the phone consult again or see the other L that looked at the papers.
That said, I'm still not clear why you wanted that language added. I know it was on the other template you found, but it really only limits you, not STBXH.
Did you ever get a copy of the Complaint? Was it ever filed with the court, or is this all supposed to be filed at the same time? My memory is that it has not been filed, and you don't have a Case Number.
As far as his L's "policy," my guess is that he's getting paid only to file a "settled" divorce, and so he doesn't want to spend time negotiating with you. If you hire a lawyer, and that lawyer contacts him, then he will advise STBXH that this is now a "contested" divorce and the fee structure will be amended. If you inform him that you are "In Proper Persona" then he will have to deal with you, but again he will want to charge more.
So, I think you have to turn on that old cell phone one more time, and tell your STBX what it is that you want. You want to have a copy of the filed complaint. You want to be present at the hearing. And most importantly, you do not want to be pressured to sign papers that make false statements.
