My stbx once told me that I deserve a OW who loves me for who I am. This was before I knew about OM and before we split up. It caught me by surprise to, but it really does tell you more about what's up in their life and not necessarily concern for yours. The focus is on themselves. I think it's a way for them to deflect guilt.
According to my stbx, you would think I've dated a 100 woman since our separation. Even after all this time, she still believes in this imaginary life she's made up for me. They like to create this life for you because it helps them to resolve their own internal conflicts.
I don't tell her squat about my personal life even though she still inquires from time to time. She's given up the privilege to know. I don't ask her about hers either. You no longer owe him any explanation about your own free time and you need to make that clear to him. If he was genuinely worried about a OM in your life, then he would give up OW and come back to you. Is that happening? It's not all about control, it's about their conscience and in my stbx's case, it's about the perception of her peers. She wants them to believe I deserved her leaving me. Never mind none of them have a clue about her OM.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
