One Day at a Time II

[sadhearted]

Yeah maybe she'll have a lot of time to think with no one to distract her. We all know how quiet a house is when the kids aren't around. Lots of thinking time.

[789]

I can only hope, not seeing much of anything lately. Will just my best and see where it all falls one day

[sadhearted]

That's all any of us can do.

My H is hurting so bad right now. He's carrying around a lot of emotions right now. Wish I could take some of it away. I think he's getting hit again with the fact that his grandma is gone. He cried some at the funeral but not much. He doesn't like crying much less in front of people. He does it when he's alone which he is so I think it's probably really hitting him.

[789]

I am not looking forward to the time when my mother passes. With her disease it could be any time or a year or two. If it should happen anytime soon, I am going to be so screwed up. I don't think I would even want my wife to go with me if we weren't at least at the trying stage to some degree.

[sadhearted]

Yeah I told him thank you for letting me come. He said what was I going to do say no. You knew the lady. Very sweet. Yet he thanked me for going with him.....

Boy we went from ending our trip on a high note to him logging off on a low note. Too many emotions going on.

I think I'm going to follow his lead and go to bed. Sure need a good nights rest.

[789]

I am not sure if I would even tell her, probably would. But I guess in a way I am a momma's boy when it comes to it. I will be extremely emotional, and if wife is not their for ME during that time, I would rather not have her around during it.

[sadhearted]

I just don't know what to say at the moment. Maybe after while I can clear my brain enough to type something out. I had a conversation with my H today. Just don't know.

[sadhearted]

So not a good DB day but I'll shake it off and go on.

Guess I'm just in a thoughtful state of mind. Not that the outcome that I want changes. Just sometimes wonder if it really is too late.

Going to put the kids to bed later then mop the kitchen floor. My S7 spilled apple juice all over the place. Makes for a sticky floor. Kids definitely keep you busy.

[sadhearted]

Oh geesh. When I got the mail today there was an anniversary card from his grandmother (whose funeral we were just at) on the front it says congratulations on your anniversary. Open it up and it says here's to love that lasts.

Talk about having a melt down. One to know that she had all ready had this picked out and ready before hand and two because of what it says.

[sadhearted]

Don't really have anything to report. I've seen my H today. I must say he smelled sooo good. I think I have the smell stuck in my nose because sitting here now I can still smell him. I might be seeing him again later. Our son's orientation for school is tonight and he may or may not make it.

I've always liked the smell of his deoderant/cologne but haven't smelled it in awhile. Smells good. I'm pathetic.