sofaraway is right on with that family time. when i did poorly while married was i didn't give my s the needed attention that i should have. luckily, when it all went bad i really focused on him and his needs. this has been not only a huge r builder for me and my s, but my w has noticed and i it has gotten her to thinking. we occasionly have a family date, and i act as if, i go into it with the attitude that i'm going to have a good time and i'm going to make sure s does. sometimes w sits and pouts and that is her problem, not mine, sometimes she can't help but have a good time. so try that.
as for the om, forget it, you'll turn yourself into knots worrying and stressing over it. as sd asked, is it a deal breaker? if not, then work on you. don't snoop, that will be a huge set back when your caught, and it won't confirm what is going on much anyway. just listen to what she is saying, don't react, just listen and let her know your listening.
