Doesn't he know how difficult this is on me as it is?
Almost certainly he does. Probably still cares too. Seems to me like a lot of the rude behavior by a WAS is for their benefit to allow them to do what they do to a person they still have feelings for (however weak they may be). Let it go.
Just did a quick read through of your sitch, you seem to be doing pretty well. I've gotten the changes are "too little, too late," "manipulative", and "pressure" (when I try to do something nice). Back off, keep becoming a better person, and let their comments roll off of your back. It stinks, but do it. THen have some fun of your own. By all means though, keep the house clean. I'm not a slob, but definately messy. I've found that trying to keep things straight isn't all that bad and actually makes the house a nicer place to be. Not perfect, but that's one change that's just an absolute good. IMO anyway
Are you doing anything to get out of the house? Maybe a 180 for you would be to be gone if he's gone. Make him wonder a little where you are.
I wouldn't try to stop having normal conversations, but if he's not receptive, move along and do your own thing.
What kind of GAL activities are you doing? You may have mentioned, but I didn't notice any. For now, happiness has to come from you and you're going to have to carry both of you to save the R (you've mentioned this already, so tellin gyou something you already now). It's going to take a while, so strap in for the long haul.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
