What would be the difference be if I request this change or an attorney does? If I represent myself, why cannot he not take into consideration my thoughts. I understand that he would have to go back to my H, but it was just a clarification issue...no changing of assets or anything like that.If no Entry of Appearance, Waiver, and Consent exists, what is the process? We have an agreed upon and signed Judgment of Dissolution. Can his attorney proceed without that notarized form?
Hope, I agree with KML. You probably need your own L. This is another step in the whole D process. You have been handling everything beautifully do not let thid bring you down.
You have talked to a couple of L's at this point, use one that you like and can work with.
It is ironic that just as you decide you want to get things over with, his lawyer hands you easy excuses for delay.
At this point I would really suggest that you do the phone consult again or see the other L that looked at the papers.
That said, I'm still not clear why you wanted that language added. I know it was on the other template you found, but it really only limits you, not STBXH.
Did you ever get a copy of the Complaint? Was it ever filed with the court, or is this all supposed to be filed at the same time? My memory is that it has not been filed, and you don't have a Case Number.
As far as his L's "policy," my guess is that he's getting paid only to file a "settled" divorce, and so he doesn't want to spend time negotiating with you. If you hire a lawyer, and that lawyer contacts him, then he will advise STBXH that this is now a "contested" divorce and the fee structure will be amended. If you inform him that you are "In Proper Persona" then he will have to deal with you, but again he will want to charge more.
So, I think you have to turn on that old cell phone one more time, and tell your STBX what it is that you want. You want to have a copy of the filed complaint. You want to be present at the hearing. And most importantly, you do not want to be pressured to sign papers that make false statements.
Thanks Mike, I really appreciate your comments. I was doing so well and then this happens.
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That said, I'm still not clear why you wanted that language added. I know it was on the other template you found, but it really only limits you, not STBXH.
The reason I wanted the language added was because the lawyer that I consulted with recommended that I not sign the form without referring to the judgment. H's attorney must not put that language in his standard form.
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Did you ever get a copy of the Complaint? Was it ever filed with the court, or is this all supposed to be filed at the same time? My memory is that it has not been filed, and you don't have a Case Number.
Yes, I received H's petition for dissolution of marriage. It doesn't list out any of the assets. Under relief sought it says, "The petitioner be awarded as petitioner's own property all of petitioner's non-marital property. The court award to petititioner a just portion of the marital property of the parties. The court shall make such order as may be just in reference to the debts of the parties. For such other relief as the court deems appropriate and equitable." No, it has not been filed...no case number exists. Does the complaint usually list out the assets or is that what the Judgment is for?
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So, I think you have to turn on that old cell phone one more time, and tell your STBX what it is that you want. You want to have a copy of the filed complaint. You want to be present at the hearing. And most importantly, you do not want to be pressured to sign papers that make false statements.
I did talk to H...he called first and I returned his call. He was confused and a little annoyed. I just told him that I didn't want to sign that form and then not be notified when the court date was. I told him it was a misunderstanding. The Judgment of Dissoluation stating the distribution of the assets is fine. I thanked him for getting it changed to the way we agreed upon. I told him that I would contact his attorney tomorrow and tell him that I will return the signed form. I agree with everything...the attorney I talked to just said if H's attorney was crooked they could pretend like the Judgment doesn't exist...but then went on to say that H's attorney is a good guy. I don't think that there is anything to worry about. I told H I would like to be notified of the court date. He told me he would do that. I'll sign it and they can have their nice little neat package to file.
Just got back from a day boating with my brother and his girlfriend and some friends. I had a good time. It took my mind off of this to some extent. It's funny how guys try to beat around the bush to find out what the deal is with me. Over the course of the day the one guy asked me what I normally would be doing on a Sunday, where I lived, what I did for a living, who I was going to Chicago with...he was definately trying to see if I had a boyfriend. I haven't been wearing my wedding ring for a month, so there is no way that he would assume that I was married. He asked me if I was older or younger than my brother. I said well, what do you think...I don't know. I asked him how old do you think I am...24 he said. Good news for me...I'll be 28 in 2 months.
Okay, back to the D papers. I am calling H's attorney tomorrow morning and telling him that I will send the notarized form this week. I won't be able to get it signed until Wed. with me being in Chicago Monday and Tuesday. I'm sure it will all be fine. No one is trying to slide anything under the table. I am getting the house and my 401(k)...those were the big things. I'm just going to go with it.
Scott, What are you doing posting on my thread this weekend? I thought you were going to enjoy a weekend in the Dells with your girls. Well, I hope you still went and had a good time.
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You probably need your own L.
I really don't think I do. I signed the Judgment that states how the assets are being split and I agree with everything. There was just an additional waiver that I was balking at signing. I'm just going to sign it and hope for the best...no one is out to screw me over...I've got to remember that. H has been really civil lately. I talked to him today. Asked me how I was and what I was up to...told him keeping busy and moving on. I just can't keep it together when I talk to him. Just hearing his voice makes me sad. He told me a little about what he's been up to. I can tell he misses me, but like we said I'm moving on....no more settling...he's not a good guy and I deserve so much better than him.
I was just checking in on you. My girls were in bed after a long day out on the boat and I was kicking back having a beer.
You know your predicament much better then any of us. If you do not feel like you need a L then great. For me I have to have one. I will probably be taken to the cleaners even with a good one. Here's to hoping that my W does what is fair.
Scott, Thanks for checking in on me. Just back from my trip to your neck of the woods. Wow, that is a big city compared to what I am used to. We had a good time...visited Navy Pier and took a boat ride on lake Michigan. We did some shopping. Amazingly, it wasn't very hot. I think we hit the days just right. We saw the Sears tower on our boat ride...that's where you said you work, right?
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I will probably be taken to the cleaners even with a good one. Here's to hoping that my W does what is fair.
I'm sorry that your sitch is that way. It does seem like your W is a lot less remorseful than my H. Maybe she is just putting on a better front than my H, but I don't remember you saying that she even attempted to apologize to you. I really hope that you get more than your fair share, but we both know that the courts think differently. I really don't feel like I need a lawyer because H and I have agreed. The only problem is that I don't understand all the legal stuff, so I am a little wary of all the different forms. H understands everything less than me, so I don't think that he trying to slide anything under the table.
H must be feeling remorseful again...it seems like that always happens when I am with his mom and sister. Last night, I got a tm from his that said "This all sucks. I can't say I'm sorry enough." At this point, I'm still trying to keep everything as calm as I can with him and me until the D is finalized, so I feel like I have to respond. I responded back..."It does suck." I haven't heard from him again. I guess he knows that I am moving on and that is usually when he does this stuff. Actually, last Friday he tm me "How r u?" I didn't respond because I thought he accidentally sent it...turns out he meant to send it. Maybe things aren't going so good with OW again...who knows. All I know is that he still isn't a good enough man to even attempt to fix anything with me, so there is no future for us.
Glad to hear that you had a good time up here. Sounds like you left just in time, today was 95 and humid. But then again it probably would have been nice for a bikini wearing babe like yourself.
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We saw the Sears tower on our boat ride...that's where you said you work, right?
Yep, been in the Sears Tower for the last 7+ years. Though I have never been to the sky deck, maybe some day I'll bring my girls up there.
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I don't remember you saying that she even attempted to apologize to you.
She has appologized in her own way. You know I am sorry that I did this but I am justified in my decision kind of way. Not very remorseful. But then again she did tell me that she would never open up to me or be vulnerable to me ever again. So I guess I this is the only type of apology that I should expect.
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The only problem is that I don't understand all the legal stuff, so I am a little wary of all the different forms.
This is why we got Mike. He knows everything about the legal side of D in every state. If Mike doesn't know about it then they are trying to pull a fast one....Mike I am just kidding, though you are a great help. Thanks again....
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I guess he knows that I am moving on and that is usually when he does this stuff.
I believe the WAS act up when they feel left out. I have noticed after each time I brought my girls away with me for the weekend, within 24 hours of being home there is some sort of drama. Be thankful that it is a remorseful TM. And it does suck....You are to great of a woman to have to be put through this hell. You do not deserve it.
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Maybe things aren't going so good with OW again...who knows.
Who knows is right. I would bet you that he had a much better life with you then he has with the bimbo. To bad it is to late for him to see that.
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All I know is that he still isn't a good enough man to even attempt to fix anything with me, so there is no future for us.
He would have way to much work to even come within a mile of the person that you are. Not in him I guess, easier to do nothing and sink down to the bimbo's level.
Again glad you had a fun safe trip and no crazy homeless guys tried picking up on you.
Sounds like you left just in time, today was 95 and humid.
Yeah, yesterday wasn't too bad. Today was a lot hotter.
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Be thankful that it is a remorseful TM. And it does suck....You are to great of a woman to have to be put through this hell. You do not deserve it.
I am grateful that it he is being remorseful, but it still is very frustrating and sad. I tried for months to help him see the light and he just couldn't. I tried to save him from himself. I hope another man can see me as a great woman...not a divorced woman with a H that left her for OW.
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I would bet you that he had a much better life with you then he has with the bimbo. To bad it is to late for him to see that.
He did have a much better life with me. Your D5 would be able to see it...I don't know how a 28 year old man can't want to change it. I'm afraid he sees it...it's just too late to fix it.
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He would have way to much work to even come within a mile of the person that you are. Not in him I guess, easier to do nothing and sink down to the bimbo's level.
Not to toot my own horn, but I think the same. I have taken this time to learn about myself and become a stronger, better person...all he's done is sink. Pretty soon the hole is not going to have any light left in it.
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Again glad you had a fun safe trip and no crazy homeless guys tried picking up on you.
No Chicago guys (homeless or not) tried to pick me up. Maybe that will all come in good time when I am ready.
Mike, Thanks for the funny comment...made me smile.
Okay, so tomorrow I am going to try and find a notary and get the Entry of Appearance, Waiver, and Consent signed. I'm still a little apprehensive, but I need to to get this D finalized asap...I know I shouldn't say this, but I need to assume H is not trying to screw me over. Scott, in your wife's D petition, did it list out your assets? My H's does not list any assets out. I think all is ok because the judgment lists everything out and that is the last step...it just seems like things are being done out of order.
