Gotta love the infedelity diet! My D10 told the other day that whenever I would come by the school to pick her up all her freinds would say "wow thats your mom". I can always count on my kids for an ego booster! Also, my coworkers mad a comment too that I was really looking good lately & I replied well do I look like a D woman! HE HE hE
My H is the youngest of 11...he's the baby and now he's definately acting the part.
11 kids, oh my....his poor mom... Let me guess she was/is a very giving and compassionate woman? That combined with the fact that your H had 10 older siblings he pretty much got everything he wanted handed to him? Is he really just reverting back to his adolescents ways? BTW, how insensitive of you to not let him have OW and you at the same time. Has he asked you to move in with them yet?(I hope my sarcasm comes across..) Knowing what he did is wrong and not getting his way it is no wonder why he is miserable.
I have read that during a crisis people sometimes revert back to their former self(I think this is the case for our S's), even though they grew out of it by the time of a crisis. I guess this might be why people in a MLC seem to replay their younger self. It seems odd to the sane, but for them it seems like a safe place to be.
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oh that's right, H is so much smoother, he just picks women up in bars.
I bet your H's OW fell for this line: "Your feet must be tired." OW - Why? "Because you have been running around my head all night long." Yep, that is the one that got her. Damn he is smooth. If you get a chance can you ask him to give me some oh so smooooooth lines like that....
his poor mom... Let me guess she was/is a very giving and compassionate woman?
Yes, she is an amazing woman. I hate to lose her as my MIL. She has been there for me throughout all of this...she's the main reason that I held on so long. My H told his family early on about this, so I was able to go to her without letting the cat out of the bag. Unlike some of my other ILs, she is standing behind her morals and will not accept her son's immoral behavior...it is wrong, she always says...I just can't be a part of this.
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That combined with the fact that your H had 10 older siblings he pretty much got everything he wanted handed to him? Is he really just reverting back to his adolescents ways?
Yes, he has always got everything handed to him...always got his way. His mom takes the blame for some of this because she said she always let him by with too much...but after 10 kids who can blame her. He is a grown man and he knows right from wrong...no excuse. His brother and sisters just want to tell him...GROW UP!
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BTW, how insensitive of you to not let him have OW and you at the same time. Has he asked you to move in with them yet?(I hope my sarcasm comes across..) Knowing what he did is wrong and not getting his way it is no wonder why he is miserable.
Yeah, he might as well throw a temper tantrum. He can't have a mistress and a wife...it's just not fair. Are you starting to see why he is miserable? He always says...who are you to tell me that I am unhappy...I'm happy dammit. Yeah, if you have to try and prove you are happy...you aren't. Same goes for if you have to tell people that you are unhappy...you aren't. He ain't kidding me...I know the truth.
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Damn he is smooth. If you get a chance can you ask him to give me some oh so smooooooth lines like that....
Never...then you might turn into the jackass that he is. I was such a catch that he snagged me when I was 16 and never let go. OW is 29 and never been married...seems a little too ironic don't you think? She actually told my H...wait until xxxx has to go find someone, then she will appreciate what she had. I can promise you that I will find someone that truly loves me for me and I won't steal him from another woman.
I hate to lose her as my MIL. She has been there for me throughout all of this...she's the main reason that I held on so long.
Sure she won't be your MIL anymore, but you do not have to lose the R you have with her. It might be a little strange for a new man in your life but if he loves you he will understand your close tie with her. You have been through hell and she was there for you...heck I would give her a hug and say thanks for loving you and supporting you.
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she is standing behind her morals and will not accept her son's immoral behavior...it is wrong, she always says...I just can't be a part of this.
Good for her!
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he might as well throw a temper tantrum. He can't have a mistress and a wife...it's just not fair.
I actually was picturing him throwing a temper tantrum like my D5 sometimes does when she doesn't get her way. Not a pretty picture for a grown man.
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Are you starting to see why he is miserable?
By his own doing, he is losing you. Who wouldn't be miserable?
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Never...then you might turn into the jackass that he is.
Awww, come on. Just ask. He has become such a smooth operator. I could definitly learn a thing or two from him.
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I was such a catch that he snagged me when I was 16 and never let go. OW is 29 and never been married...seems a little too ironic don't you think?
Again not to bash your H, but you setled for him. He did not snag you. He is lucky that you are a true lady with integrity and did not bolt yourself.
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I can promise you that I will find someone that truly loves me for me and I won't steal him from another woman.
Like I said earlier you are going to have to choose from millions of men out there that would love to call you their W. Just do not settle this time. Know what you want and how you deserve to be treated. You will find someone.
Sure she won't be your MIL anymore, but you do not have to lose the R you have with her.
She says that we will always be friends. H has a big problem with my relationship with his mom...just because he doesn't want to be with me, doesn't mean ILs don't. Like you said, I've been through hell and she has been there for me every step of the way...she will always be a part of my life...H is just going to have to get over it.
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By his own doing, he is losing you. Who wouldn't be miserable?
Yeah, it must suck to know that you lost the best thing that ever happened to you because of your ego and pride...I'd be miserable too.
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Just do not settle this time. Know what you want and how you deserve to be treated. You will find someone.
Okay...no settling...I'm going to find me a nice guy this time. I better say that every day so it sinks in. I do need to learn to stand for what I believe in and know that I deserve to be treated well. It probably all goes back to being "too nice"...sounds like something else I should discuss with IC. Hopefully, if I get into a healthy relationship, I will see what it is like to not give and give and give and really get nothing in return. I need to learn that you shouldn't have to walk around on eggshells and bend over backwards all the time. That sure sounds like a horrible way to live when it's written in black and white...but I'm afraid that is the way that I have lived for my entire adult life. Maybe I'm starting to see a reason all this happened?
H has a big problem with my relationship with his mom..
To bad for him....
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Okay...no settling...I'm going to find me a nice guy this time.
So we agree on no settling....But, I have to disagree with you about finding "a nice guy". That I believe would be settling. Find yourself a "Great guy". Then and only then you will have not settled. Do not settle for second best..go get yourself a great guy. What Great guy wouldn't want to have Hope in his life?
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Hopefully, if I get into a healthy relationship, I will see what it is like to not give and give and give and really get nothing in return.
Not if, but when I get into a healthy.........
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That sure sounds like a horrible way to live when it's written in black and white...but I'm afraid that is the way that I have lived for my entire adult life. Maybe I'm starting to see a reason all this happened?
I guess this is part of us accepting our M for what it is. In the book "not just friends" the author talked a lot about one spouse giving a lot more to the M while the other gave minimally. She always followed it up saying that to truly reconcile and have a healthy M/R that both spouses need to contribute equally. Now you know if it was to ever workout with your H then there would be a whole lot of change that he would have to be willing to do..
Have fun in Chicago this weekend. Other then Sunday morning it is supposed to be nice here. BTW, Lollapalooza(no idea how to spell it) is going on this weekend in Grant Park. It might be a little crazy......I guess we are used to crazy....never mind. Have a great weekend.
Now you know if it was to ever workout with your H then there would be a whole lot of change that he would have to be willing to do..
Definately...no settling for less. I don't think there will be any chance of reconciling with H. He just doesn't have it in him to be the man that I want. When I asked him why he couldn't be what I deserve after he told me that I deserve better, he said because his heart wasn't in it...what a lame excuse. He will continue to live his life in this miserable state because then he doesn't have to improve himself. One of his famous lines was "I don't have to change for anyone".
Hopefully, you and I will both have fun on our mini-vacations. We definately deserve it. We are going to Navy Pier and of course, going to do some shopping. We aren't going until Monday, so maybe it won't be so crazy by then...but like you said I'm used to crazy. Should be a good time...we are staying at the Sheraton on the river and it looks like it's fairly close to a lot of things. I'm going with H's mom, sister, and nieces...let's hope H doesn't find out...he'll be furious.
At least he is able to see this... My W gave me a similar line saying that I deserve someone who will love and adore me for me. She would never use the word that I need someone better, just someone other then her.
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One of his famous lines was "I don't have to change for anyone".
Well, I guess he won't change then. I still have a hard time understanding why he would walk away from such a wonderful woman.
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Hopefully, you and I will both have fun on our mini-vacations.
I will and I am sure that you will to. If you find yourself getting bored let me know I can offer some suggestions.
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let's hope H doesn't find out...he'll be furious.
I would not worry to much about his feelings anymore....he does not deserve your consideration at this point.
I just got in from my night out GALing, but I didn't come home to anything good. I received a letter from H's attorney in response to the letter that I sent...
"You requested that language being added to the Entry of Appearance, Waiver and Consent. Please be advised I represent H in this divorce proceeding and ethically cannot make changes requested by you. It is my policy to present to the Court only the agreement between the parties that has been signed by the unrepresented party. If you still want changes you should consult an attorney"
I'm confused....I just hate all this legal stuff. I signed the judgment and irreconcilable differences waiver. Will the attorney file this without the entry. Then, will I be served. Can anyone provide any insight?
