Listen to Ian, he's dead on with his advice. You've gotta back WAY off and let go.

And...let me tell you, "knowing" doesn't make you feel better. It makes you feel worse. You have even more material for the stories you make up in your head. It makes reconciliation harder--trust me on this as 8 months after H and I reconciled, I was *still* dealing with that even though it was only an EA and mostly one-sided.

Is an A a deal breaker for you? If not, then let it go. Knowing won't change anything about what you need to do. It will just hurt you. Let go.

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!