I have really been thinking about the money thing. I think it is kind of a touchy situation because he has never said that he wouldn't help me with bills and I don't want to push him to say that. He called last night and asked if he could take out $40 for their internet and cable hookup fees, I said yes and then he said thank you. When he said that I realized that I don't want him thanking me for letting him use his own money, I just want him to be more responsible about it.
I am thinking about proposing that each of us get a weekly "allowance" to do with what we want. That way he doesn't have to ask me if he can spend money. I think all the other money should stay in the checking account and should only be used for bills, both his and mine. If we use up our allowance, then we are done until the next week...if we have some left over then we can just keep it. I am working on a number for this "allowance". I think that might make him feel like he has more freedom and I wouldn't be obsessing about it. Any ideas?
I am also thinking that selling the house may be a good idea. We have only been here a year, so really have no equity in it. If we did D I wouldn't stay here, so I would want to sell the house anyway. If we did work things out I don't think we would stay here either. We are both from the same place and would both love to move back home.
As far as the address, H still has everything sent here. His mother even called him and told him she had to send him something so where should she send it, and he told her here. She said he didn't live here so she wasn't sending it here, but he still didn't tell her anything. I thought he might write a check to the guy he is renting from so I could at least see his name..but he took out cash. He luckily hasn't made any major purchases. The only credit cards he has are the ones that he is an authorized user on mine. When he moved out I took him off...not sure if he has tried to use them yet.
I have been seeing T every week for about a month, and a couple of time twice a week! That is when we go alone and then together. We have AF insurance, so it is really good. I can go as much as I want, but after so many sessions H will have to get approval from his commander. I think the couseling on his part might be over once that is a requirement.
Thanks for explaining what Pro Se is. I looked up just a little bit on it. I believe that in our county that since he is in the military he has to have my signature to be able to file. I think you can do it without, but not in the military. Maybe that will buy me some time if he actually decides to file. Although if it comes to that I think he would do things to push me to do it. He hasn't mentioned it again since he left and I am hoping that was out of anger. He has actually never said the word divorce, its like he can't even bring himself to say it. He just says he is not sure if he wants to be married or if he should be married.
Terey, feel free to email. You have been very encouraging and I love hearing from you. I also like being posted on your situation, although I don't feel like I am able to offer any advice...I am sure it still helps just to be able to vent.
