I just read RCR's post to you and YES!!!! Everything she says is pretty much on target and good advice.
Remember familiarity breeds contempt.
Living together whilst trying to maintain a relationship based on lies and deceit does not make for happy campers.
You will see that things will begin to fall apart once the excitement wears off.
I can only tell you from my own experience that my Husband was totally infatuated with the OW. Their calls were daily, and lasted for hours. He made many trips to visit her all under the guise of "work" stuff.
When he finally moved out and was able to see her daily, their relationship ended within 2 months. She became controlling and manipulative. She would spend time with her friends and he became jealous. Her friends hated my Husband because they knew he was married, and they made him feel very uncomfortable.
She became more and more possesive and wanted to know what he was doing daily. The funniest thing she ever told me was that she was very upset with me because I made her relationship with my Husband so complicated.
Now I can look back and laugh at this BS.
I also want you to know that I still believe in happy endings. I have seen amazing things happen to people who believe in God on this board.
I have seen changes in my Beloved that I never truly thought would happen.
A couple of days ago he told me that he was more in love with me then he could put into words. Our anniversary is next Wednesday and we have not celebrated it for 4 years.
I decided not to even bother to mention it, as it is still very early in our new relationship. He brought it up. He told me that this was the first time in many years that he was excited to actually celebrate our union together and that he was really looking forward to it.
I am telling you this because this is a miracle.
If you go back and read the old archives you will see that this man is the same man who told me he hated me and wished I would drop dead. That I was a mistake in his life, blah, blah blah.
Now back to you...
You want to lose some weight, so what is your plan? Let's work on you and put your Husband on the backburner for now.
Set some goals just for you.
I don't know much about your financial situation, but can you go and buy yourself something nice to wear in your "goal" size? This has always motivated me to tone and get into shape.
I joined a kickboxing class which is so much fun and I am getting muscles...woohoo!! I have to quit smoking this week because of my upcoming surgery, so maybe you can give me some tips in that area. I am terrified of gaining weight as it took me so long to finally get to a place that I am happy with.
Now about the "date" that they are moving in together, can you make special plans for yourself? A pedicure, a spa or facial? Dinner or a movie?
You must use this date to celebrate the begining of the end, if that makes any sense. This is the day that they may move in together, but it is also the day that they will begin to truly sabotage everything in their fantasy world.
You must use this time wisely, and continue to work on yourself and get yourself emotionally fit and strong. You must be prepared in your heart for a "suddenly" and to let the anger go and the hatred for the OW go.
This September 9 it will be exactly 2 years since Beloved and OW ended their fantasy world. It takes a long time to grieve the loss of the other person. (Read SF's post on this). I think my Husband took almost a year just to get her out of his system. He said that it took a lot of self control not to call her. He did try once and she told him to never contact her again. (That is the most decent thing the bitch ever did)!!!
I brought her up the other day and said that I know she will try to contact him again, as they have this stupid cycle thing. Every few years out of the blue she contacts him, and then they get into a fight and don't talk for several years.
He told me that if I hear from her in any way, not to tell him. He wants nothing to do with her ever again because he now understands that she is a toxic person and has caused him much anguish and heartache for most of his adult life.
Your Husband will "get it" but it will be in God's timing, not yours. Have you read Prodigal's do come home? It is a great book and I bought it from Rejoice Ministries.
I think I have rambled on enough for now, please take care of yourself and do not lose your focus.
Have a wonderfully blessed weekend.
((((((((((Faith)))))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
