W: It's like you're a huge weight holding me back. I dread coming home. When you're not around, I like to do things -- with or without the girls. I'm tired. I feel like I've been driving the relationship [in the context of making decisions about vacation, etc.] and I'm tired of it.
Heimlich--
I'm just curious, wondering whether this "you drain the life out of me" sort of statement is common to WAW's in general; or whether your wife, in particular, is easily overwhelmed, someone who needs quiet and down-time in order to unwind and feel truly herself. She may be blaming you for stresses that may actually stem partly from her own temperment.
As for her being intuitive, and awkward about explaining her feelings---I think you probably know by now that her feelings are no less powerful for being poorly expressed. Intuition is usually based on fairly detailed observations. Your wife doesn't seem to miss much that you do, or fail to speculate about why you're doing it. You probably were right about her slight reaction of surprise.
She's attending to you so carefully that you should have plenty of opportunities to surprise her. For instance, if you find her fumbling intuitiveness unattractive, there is no doubt that she's picked up on it. Why not just accord her style the same respect you hope that she'll eventually show to you? It's actually possible to validate when you don't quite know what someone's talking about, and even when they have no reasons they care to offer for any of their conclusions. You're probably more likely to get a full, coherent statement if you encourage your wife to speak her thoughts without fear of having to defend them.
