wow.. you've been quiet for quite a while, unbroken.
how are you doing?

I'm going to abuse the threadjack invitation some more, and hide in here to babble about philosophical things.

I have learned, [through just doing a search, not advertising myself], that there are approximately 50 women within 20 miles of me, that I would potentially be interested in dating. Women with positive Christian values, child friendly, in my age range and height, who seem to be visually appealing to me as well.

**50**. From just one website.
Odds should be pretty good that 5% of them could be interested in me. So, maybe 2 of them, I could develop a really positive, happy, warm relationship, with someone i could actually TRUST.. and be selfishly happy with them for the rest of my life (10-50 years?)

Or... i can choose to stay unattached, and not get mixed up in dangerous things.
I say "selfishly happy", because I know it would be contrary to what my children need.

I just read "MyTurnNow"s latest update. 3 years after D-day. her husband is coming crawling back. and she doesnt want anything to do with him. She has a "new guy", that is interested in her, and is nice to her. Her husband has realized the error of his ways, and is apparently out of MLC. In theory, he could turn a new leaf, and be good to her, if she ever wanted to take him back.

Thing is.. even if my wife comes out of MLC.. she still has.. "personal issues", that will quite probably be with her for the rest of her life. Which would make being with her again, a constant trial. Not to mention that she has poisoned her family against me to the point where that whole family dynamic will probably be miserable for a decade.

I could push for finishing up the divorce, and be selfishly happy with someone new.
Or... I could stay available, for the sake of my children. At least for the next 11 years or so, until they're grown enough that it wont much matter because the damage from divorce/separation will be permenently done at that point.

But by then, I will have sat out on "the best years of my life". For "nothing", in earthly terms.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it \:\) ), I've been hearing a fair amount of reminders here and there about how Christians should sacrifice their lives for Jesus, in thanks for His sacrifice for us.

Which is a reminder that a husband is called to "give his life for his wife"... and that does not neccessarily mean by dying.
Biblically speaking, reguardless of the feminist complaints about the other side, i think you women have the easier calling :P

I think God has called me (as all husbands) to stay true to her, no matter how long it takes. Perhaps even if reconciliation never comes. Sometimes, I can feel good about doing the right thing. And sometimes... i dont know if I can really stick to that.


Sad thing is... I think perhaps my heart can take it, but my sexual/physical drive cannot. I've always had a weakness in that area.. my wife and I got involved like that way too soon. I have a feeling I'm gonna end up doing something stupid sooner rather than later, just because of that area.
i need physical affection. sigh...
I might end up seeing someone for "cuddling"s sake, and then get into big trouble.
:-(


I guess i should say.. i DO still love my wife. i do wish she'd wake up. I'm just feeling rather pessimistic that she will.
maybe in about 3 months, afer she's "settled in" to her newly remodelled rooms, and is working in her mother's school as well as living with her (ahahah.. ahahaha... AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!) she might snap out of it. guess I'm just having a pity party

Last edited by Dom R; 08/03/07 11:42 PM.
My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle