Never feel a fool for loving someone. Whether they deserve that love or not, is another matter, however. You love him, but he is broken, and no amount of love is going to fix him. He has to do that himself. In the meantime, I would love him from a distance, with plenty of boundaries in place, and not tolerating for one second any abuse. Walk away. You are not doing your kids any favours by hanging on, hoping he's going to change. They will be better off not having to see this abuse going on.
I wish I could meet you too, but I would prefer to meet your H, so I can tell him what an a$$ he is, and various other gentle remarks like that. Anyway, you need time and space from him, to work on YOU, to regain your confidence, and self esteem. Just know that you are special, and you do not deserve this abuse. Don't let his words hurt you ... they are foolish utterings of a sick mind, and you are wasting your time even thinking about them.
Keep praying, but also DO! Take care!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
