The castle analogy and the "AS IF" article were very helpful. After the hurtful things my wife has said to me lately I was resigned to believing there was absolutely no hope of any reconciliation, but now I have some hope that I might be able to actually turn things around someday if I do the right things.
I've noticed that many of the situations on this thread involve couples that are still living together while separated or have situations where they still have see each other like younger kids.
My situation is a little different in that we live separately and have no reason to see each other. Up until now I haven't done the right things when I have had the chance to see my wife (i.e. begging, pleading, showing extreme sadness). This has lead to her not wanting to see me at all. No that she doesn't want to see me how will she see any changes I do implement in my behavior? I'm afraid that the lasting image she has of me, while we have our 1 month of no contact, is not a good one.
M - 10 yrs Together - 12 yrs Bomb - 3/8/07 Sep - 3/9/07 Me - 38 W - 42
