Faith that God is Working on H

[Rollercoasterider]

Is the fact that I can't just walk away a sign that there is something wrong with me?

You can walk away; you are choosing not to.

Is it possible since my IL's seem to be accepting OW as being "very nice" a sign that she is the right person for H and that I should just give up?

You interpret your in-laws feelings as signs from God but ignore the obvious signs that indicate the the opposite.
Come on...you know the answer to that questions. The OW is an MLCer herself. She divorced her husband, pretended to be your friend and then PREYED on your husband.
Think back to what she told you last year--Spring or early Summer about how he was gone and you shold get over it or stopp hanging on...we talked about this then. She sees what you are and what you are doing as weak. She uses this perception as leverage with YOUR husband.
Gimme a break! NO decent woman divorces her husband as she did--didn't she have an affair--and IMMEDIATELY GOES AFTER a married man who she KNOWS is in maritally confused and waivering because she is privy to such information from his wife. She DELIBERATELY went after your husband...for a few reasons.

• To Show you/prove...
• He doesn't want you (notice it has nothing to do with her being interested in him.)
• ...to herself that she isn't weak like you
• ...she can
• Because she feels out of control and needs to control someone and MLC men are easily manipulated and controlled by OWs--though they resist control from their wife

Your husband was simply convenient...and I feel that in your case this woman chose him because of you not him. It's a message to you. How sick is that?

She deliberately manipulates him against you--using the perception of your weakness as leverage. Sweetheart's OW wasn't doing this against me as is this one, she was simply desperate...but she tried this angle. She told Sweetheart that she was helping me by having him leave me because I was obviously not a stron person since I wanted to be his wife. Sweetheart told me that informationally, not believingly...and it gave me the opportunity to laugh and say nice try! It was amusing and nothing more...and by being openly amused, Sweetheart saw that I was strong, not weak--though he didn't believe her in the first place.

Don't hate her, she's clearly distrubed.

Then, consider her public behaviour at the sporting events...Wasn't she all over your husband--physically? eeeeeeeeewwwwww
The irony of trying to proves something is that it is evidence that disproves. Those with confidence don't feel the need to prove. Losers are desperate to prove they are winning. Winners simply win.

Let me tell you about Carl. Carl was a swimmer--the top swimmer on our high school and club team. One day we were doing sprint sets. Carl hit the wall to finish and lazily pushed off on his back...then swam back in. One of the little ones--* or under finished after Carl pushed off, but before he swam back. This little guy thought he beat Carl. He was so excited--Carl was his hero. He splashed up and down and yelled "I beat Carl" over and over. And what did Carl do?

He smiled, patted him on the back and said "that's right, you did." Carl was 17 at the time. That has always stuck with me.

Your OW would have sneered at the little boy and made fun of him for daring to think he could be faster.

She has something to prove because she doesn't believe it herself.

So STOP trying to justify their affair--they are not meant to be together forever. Soul mates wouldn't use each other as they are.

When I pray for a sign that I should stay the course I usually get something that indicates to me that I am on the right track but am I imagining the signs or are they real?

Cycling Faith? I knew it was just my imagination tripping me up, so I laughed it off. But I used to ask...did God give me my KNOWING so I would THINK Sweetheart would come home--though it was a lie--and thus I would learn and grow through the process? No...God doesn't do that. How about how we intepret what God tells us...that is your true fear in this issue. You so want God to say one thing, so are you hearing only what you want--through fabrication?

As our friends got married one by one after us, he still looked deeply into my eyes when they said their vows and I still saw that he meant them. How did that all change? Should we renew our vows every five years so that we maintain that feeling?

In-Fatuation and even those early romance highs are not meant for maintenance. Love grows and matures beyond that. It can be high...but it is much deeper than that.

I will be fine without H but I also know that is not the plan God has for H and I.

Good--remind yourself of this DAILY...only revise it to remove the negation.

You stated that something is NOT God's plan. So state positively what is God's plan. Post your revision...and then print it or write it on a small strip of paper--like a cookie fortune--carry it with you.

Guess what I get for my birthday this year!! H is moving into a house with OW! ...I am just horribly sad and angry. Is this the answer to my many prayers?

Probably--Happy Birthday--and I mean it. So Rejoice, this is a cause for celebration--though I wish they done it sooner. Pray the cohabitation will be the death of the relationship. Now she can really control him. He won't have space...they can fight!!! YAY!

I don't know how many more times my heart can be shattered by all of this.

As many as you let it.

I know that H and OW will not stay together, she will begin to treat H like she treated her XH and he will not stand for it for long.

Then where is this fear coming from? Why are you focusing and giving your power to someone and something you know is doomed?

You shouldn't focus or give power to it anyway. But knowing it is doomed makes taking back your power much easier. It's not knowing that causes so many to panic and cycle.

The Power of a Praying Wife says that when we are unforgiving, God doesn't hear our prayers.

...I know that if I don't have a pure heart that God will not be able to hear my prayers.

The book may say this...but I disagree...COMPLETELY. This sort of misconception is dangerous; it causes people to feel judged, guilty and to turn away from God. It fries me! God hears everything.
What is the point of praying for forgiveness...God wouldn't hear it. Wanting to forgive and doing it are not equal. Desire is merely a step.

So does God only pay attention and help those with the LEAST need? UM...NO!!!
Let's see...who did Jesus associate with...Oh, right, the tax collectors, prostitutes, lepers...sinners and diseased. We are saved by God's GRACE.

God helps all...it is just that not all accept. They don't even know they are unaccepting--self-righteous piety can make a person blind and deaf along with hardening one's heart. God abandons NO ONE.

the day they move in together I will really suffer

...if you say so.

So say something else...say you'll do a happy dance.

another gf has taken OW's side although she keeps pretending that she hasn't.

Curious...can you elaborate?

BUILD A "HEDGE OF THORNS" BY PRAYER

I BELIEVED and prayed that

• they fought
• she bitched
• she controlled
• they were miserable together

And then sometimes I'd make reference to their fighting, misery and the tight leash to Sweetheart...subtle hypnosis insurance.

It freaked him out...not in a bad or good way...he'd just shake his head and ask if I were psychic. He didn't deny...sometimes asked how I knew...I said I knew him--if what we were talking about applied to knowing him...such as misery.

It seems that your problem is one of FAITH. You say you KNOW and have experienced what I refer to as KNOWINGS...and yet you doubt.
You don't need Faith for the obvious. So of course you're not going to see 'signs' from your MLCer--until later that is. Faith is necessary (well, always...but) in the absence of logical evidence. Faith is what you rely on when the surface view shows something else. Einstein did poorly in school--EINSTEIN! If that is the only data, the evidence does not point to genius...and yet his name has become a synonym for just that.

Practice forgiving...it's a process. Quiet your heart and soul. The OW is a disturbed lady, not a hateful one. And you husband...he moves slowly...he actually postponed his major Replay until you graduated! He announced it...but that it would not take effect until... huh? Sweetheart dropped the bomb and left. He didn't say he would wait until... Okay, yes, he had a pressuring OW. But yours needs external sources of motivation. The OW is his Replay motivator...but he had conscious prewarning...weird.

So just be patient. He'll come through...eventually.

HUGS,
RCR