Thanks to everyone that posted on my last thread, here
Your words were a big help. You really don't know until.., well maybe you guys do know.
It's been real tough. I've been in a quite a bit of pain, more than I expected. I tried to get up and around the day after my surgery. Big mistake. Even with crutches, it was a mistake. I've never been on crutches before, so my inability to get around on those things caused me to put more weight than I should have on my knee. The swelling is finally down, still quite sore but I can see light at the end now. Can't wait to start running and pumping iron again.
W did not take me to surgery, but showed up after while I was in post-op to take me home.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. I thought I was hallucinating when the nurse asked me if I wanted W to come back there. I told her, "my brother will come as soon as you guys call him", nurse repeated that W is out here for you. I told her, "my W is D'ing me, I don't think she is going to be here". This got quite a few laughs from the nurses. Nurse came back after a bit and said, "is your W's name ______?" I said yes, and the nurse said, she is out here do you want her to come back. I said sure.
I'm positive W was only there and taking me home because of pressure from her parents. They couldn't believe she was going to go out of state while I was having surgery. That started a bit of a spat between W and MIL/FIL.
To be honest, I would much rather have walked home than take that ride. IT SUCKED. I was in and out due to the demerol, (sp?) and vicoden, not to mention whatever they gave me during the surgery was still affecting me. The whole way she is grilling me about settlement issues. What about this, what about that? I kept fading in and out. Last thing I remember is her asking about my pension and how is that paid out to her, I passed out and woke up when we were pulling into the garage.
W was no assistance to me at all during my down time. Today W took my D's to Great America so I have a chance, and clear head to post. W did nothing, my kids helped me with everything I needed. Which is part of the reason why I pushed it too much so soon after the surgery. I had to. I had to get up and get my meds, basically I had to do everything I normally would do for myself and the kids, while under the influence of vicoden and pain. Not trying to be overly dramatic, but it sucked. My kids would help me get dressed, which sucks, but I couldn't bend my leg so getting pants on alone was impossible. Stuff like that, which under normal circumstances a spouse or friend would help you with while recovering, W did nothing. Even food, W would cook dinner, tell me it's ready, I made the mistake of saying, would you mind bringing it up here as I'm a little out of it right now? "Fine, I'll bring it up there, but you should probably just come down anyway since I'm leaving in 30 minutes and you will have to bring the dishes down when you're done since I won't be here". I just went downstairs. That was the last time I asked W for anything.
What did I expect? That's the problem. I expected her to at least do for me what she would and has done for others. She did not. If I didn't get the point before, I got it now.
We have to attend parenting classes. W has been calling me almost constantly today to ask if I can get the money, her friend is going to loan her the money, so we can get into the classes asap. As soon as we complete the classes the D will be finalized.
Even the mediator told W to mellow out. That W can't be hammering me about terms and conditions while I'm in a drugged state. W didn't care. Kept going at it. Yesterday we met with the mediator to finalize terms. W brings up something about $1300.00 she says I agreed to. I have no idea what she is talking about. Mediator asks when this conversation happened. W tells her, "Friday morning". I said, the friday morning after my surgery. W, turns away from me and now is talking directly to mediator, "he was awake, he knows we talked about it". Mediator says, "you had surgery Thursday, and they put you under for 3.5 hours, correct?" I said, "I guess so, I don't actually know how long". Mediator says, "before you left the hospital they gave you a shot of demerol and 2 vicoden?" I said, yes. Mediator says, "Friday were you still taking the vicoden?" I said yes, but I'm not sure how good I was about that, I was doing it myself and I think I took too many or took doses too close together or something.
Mediator looks at W and says, "anything agreed to during that time doesn't stand, we can revisit those issues now and get it in writing but if he says he doesn't remember, he probably doesn't".
Incredible isn't it? That I would want to stay with someone like this. That I would want to save a marriage to someone like this defies logic and rational thought.
