Mojo and Eddie: Mommy issues. I was the fourth child, third son, and, as the baby, lived by relaxed rules. I remember my brothers saying, "I can't believe he gets to drink Coke!" Yeah, life is so unfair.
One of the things that's become apparent to me in the last few years is that I saw how my parents interacted with my older siblings and obviously took careful notes about what got positive results, and what didn't. I was a little angel, I guess. I saw my oldest brother become the "target child" because he didn't toe the line. The only thing he seemed to get kudos for was that he was a pretty smart kid. So I became smart, AND I toed the line.
I have to tell you, though, that most of the line-toeing in our house was for the benefit of positive attention from Dad, not from Mom. He was not a tyrant or anything, he just had these stern looks he would give and you just knew that you had either f@cked up big time, or, sigh, disappointed him. Mom's love and support was always there, but Dad's seemed a bit more "conditional." Good thing I figured out most of the conditions from watching the siblings. And I have to say, because I had figured all that out, he was generally very supportive of me and probably a big reason why I went on to law school after college.
He died the month before I filed for divorce from wife #1, but not before he helped me buy a house for my post-divorce life. (He was the buyer in name only, and I paid rent to him in order to keep the house out of any property settlement.) His support during that time was a big help to me, and a good, positive thing to remember in the very difficult months afterward.
My mom still works everyday and sends me jokes by email (that I've seen too many times) and I've trained her pretty well to check with me before sending out yet another urban myth email. Despite the fact that we live within about an hour of each other (opposite ends of a metropolitan area), I don't see her very often. She's pretty self-sufficient...or maybe she just finds it easier to rely on my brother who lives closer, and has no kids. I talk to her on the phone about once or twice a week, although sometimes more often, sometimes less often.
Oh, and the relationship between Mom and Dad was one of, I guess, quiet loving. Not much PDA, but definitely kisses and hugs hello and goodbye. I don't remember any fights. Certainly nothing like the drama of my marriages.
