she has an uncanny ability to focus on the negatives about me, ignore the positives (or just give them lip service) and paint me as some sort of evil, selfish, lazy etc., monster. Of course she does. She has to find a way to blame YOU for her lack desire. No way SHE is going to take the blame for it. So you could be the most perfect guy in the world and she will endlessly search for your FLAWS, because it has to be YOUR fault.
