Got home. Did not call, oops, walked into our bedroom and W was just getting into the shower! She did not have doors closed, I did not barge in and catch her naked or anything, but she was in there and not happy I almost caught her undressed (gotta admit, a glimpse at this pt would have been nice...devil on my shoulder again!).
So after that, just puttered around w/ kids till I had to take D11 to gymnastics and took boys to KFC while D did her thing. Good time w/ boys eating KFC in my car and getting greasy crumbs everywhere (usually would flip out about that but new approach to be relaxed and what da ya know, the boys helped me clean it up!).
Before we left a bit of an experiement / Backslide? W was giving hugs to everyone goodby as we were leaving, I tried to ask for a hug, and she was kinda put off by it. We did not, I just said, "not trying to stress you out, ok". Ok SO I TRIED SOMETHING AND IT DID NOT WORK, LEARN CVA.
Got the boys to bed, long talk w/ S9 again. Need to be careful here I dont tell him too much, but talked about how I was working on me an my problems of pushing on people, namely mommy, to do what I wanted others to do and how mommy was the kind of person who needed a more gentle approach which is why we dont hug right now. He had asked her about that so I also told him this little analogy.
"think about all the hurtful things I have said around our house and how each one would be a small cut on someones arm (mom's) and so would you hug a person with a bunch of cuts on the outside? No, you would gently touch them and make sure they are OK and healed before you did that"..."That is what I am working"
He seemed to understand that and I am hoping it was not too much. He then handed me his Bible w/ a passage on marriage that he had found one night while I was out of town. He says "Dad, show this to mom".
W gets home, D is still up w/ me wathcing TV. W is tired but in a good mood. Put D to bed, "talk about a backrub" but she hasnt taken a shower yet so she says, "if you want one I can do that but I am just going to shower and go to bed after that". OK I say, no big deal. So she gives me a quick rub then says "could you just lean on my back a little bit?" Sure, no prob.
OK, so I started the convo about a backrub but for about the 2nd time in this process, she made a move to keep it going. Yes her back is hurting from "that time of the month" but at least she asked for something.
That's about it.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
