the one thing we are doing, at least so far, is co-parenting well. even my therapist has been impressed. its hard to get down, but its something we did instinctively. granted, mine his homeless, but living with his mom. if he suddenly moves in with ow, that will be a very different story for me. very, very different.
as hard as it is, I put the kids first, which is why he gets them fri evening-sun morning, tuesday mornings, and wedn late afternoon/evening. tues and wedn are here at the house, the rest is up at his mom's. It sucks, I didn't ask to become a part time mom, but I know my kids love him and miss him, and their needs come first.
I'm starting to look for a play therapist for my eldest. I can see some signs that this is affecting him, even though things have been fairly smooth considering. I'm trying to allow him to talk when he needs to, instead of placating him or the like, when he says he misses daddy and wants him to live here again. and I let H know what is going on w/o railing about it being his fault and such. and trust me, that part is hard...in some ways, I will never forgive him for what he is doing to my kids. I want to beat his head in with a baseball bat in fact...mama bear comes out and all that. but I control that impulse, and remember what is for the best.
still, every friday I cry my eyes out as soon as they've pulled out of the driveway. I'm a big blubbery mess.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
