Waltzing again -one decision at a time!

[Matilda2]

In my Op if H wanted to divorce you so bad he would have filed

Only reason H hasn't filed is because of the money. He doesn't want to spend a lot of money on the D. He hopes we can reach an agreement ourselves and then just have one lawyer. As I said before my lawyer said we could do it that way......as long as the one lawyer is MINE!

[Matilda2]

I listened to a site called nightingale.com...it is on goal setting and making the most for you.

I'll check this out. I am having trouble focusing on me!

[NNP1965]

Only reason H hasn't filed is because of the money. He doesn't want to spend a lot of money on the D. He hopes we can reach an agreement ourselves and then just have one lawyer. As I said before my lawyer said we could do it that way......as long as the one lawyer is MINE!

Oh Matilda I read something on another thread last night and thought of your sitch.

This was posted on this
thread

I did tell him that these were his feelings and actions so he would need to decide what he wanted to do. Right or wrong?

You did fine. Now if he does bring up divorce...he may ask you what to do. Tell him to ask a lawyer...that you will not help him divorce you IN ANY WAY. If he wants it he MUST do 100% of the work to get it.
And for your part, you will do the work to not get it--you don't have to tell him that though.

Sure he wants this to be friendly and resolved between the tywo of you. Tell him...that's not how these things work. ALways refer him to his lawyer for legal questions or when he wants help such as filling out divorce paperwork.

HUGS,
RCR

[NNP1965]

I think this warrants being repeated:


Sure he wants this to be friendly and resolved between the tywo of you. Tell him...that's not how these things work. ALways refer him to his lawyer for legal questions or when he wants help such as filling out divorce paperwork.

[JAK58]

Matilda,

I totally agree with RCR here.

I still really dso think if he wanted this D bad enough he would come up with the money somewhere.

JAK

[Matilda2]

I still really do think if he wanted this D bad enough he would come up with the money somewhere.

He has the money.....just doesn't want to spend it on a D!

[NNP1965]

Matilda, you said you need inspiration, okay here goes. I was going to stay in the house and get my laundry done and all that, but after I saw your post on my thread, I decided to get out and enjoy some fresh air.

I am going to get a pedicure. Is that something you enjoy? Maybe you and D16 could both get one today, or if she has plans you could do it just yourself.

So there, you have inspired me while asking for my help.

What do you think? You gonna join me?

[JAK58]

Matilda,

IMOP,

Accountability.

This is what H needs to understand.

HE wants the D now he needs to be held accountable for financing it and processing it and moveing from your home if that is what it takes.

You should not have to bear the burden of any of thesse things.
You need to take care of you and DD and that should be your focus right now.

So if you want to stay in the house, Talk to L and tell him what you want and let him handle the rest.

I think of you every day. Try to only worry about DD and YOU.


JAK

[Matilda2]

My friend and her family left and now the house feels so empty (5 extra houseguests for 5 days). It was great therapy!!! Haven't laughed as hard in years!!!! She has been my friend for 17 years and I can tell her anything and everything; she listens and validates my feelings!!!

I went against your advice and we did spend time on the boat. H did the pursuing, though, not me. I wonder if he wanted to show our friends he was still a nice guy??? The kids loved being on (and in) the water and it was actually relaxing for me. I can be around H when other people are around and not feel stressed; just can't be alone with him....especially when he wants to talk about money.

I appreciate the reference above to refer questions to the lawyer. I hired a lawyer for a reason.....now I need to use her!

Still thinking about my goals. Number one goal needs to revolve around believing in myself and my worth!

[NNP1965]

Matilda, I am glad you have such a good friend. The time on the boat sounds nice, I am glad you were able to enjoy it.

You are exactly right, that is why you hired a lawyer. Now remember not to help H with any of the D. If he wants it he has to do the work, all of the work.

As for your goals do start by thinking of something good to do for youself. What do you enjoy?

How is D16 doing?