WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[waw1978]

Yesterday was a big fat kick in the teeth. Apparently my being a pushover in our marriage is continuing into this separation. I thought I was acting in the best interest of my daughter by leaving her in the house every night while I just stay there on my nights with her. Apparently not in the eyes of the court system. I have allowed my H to establish himself as the custodial parent. The atty I spoke with said from the sounds of it that H has beat me to the punch and spoke with atty already as he is doing all the things that the atty would have advised me to do. Emails about visitation (all in his favor) and by being the one in the house with her and taking her to school everyday. The atty told me even things as trivial as who makes her lunch will become an issue. Help me out here…do I have no rights? I am the Mom up until my H’s hours shifted I was the one who made her lunches and took her to school everyday for two years. Before that I was home with her everyday and worked nights so she did not have to go to daycare. Can all this be true? Two months of a separation will supercede 4 years of my care?

I am so scared and unsure what will happen. It seems to me H has been setting me up to lose my D this whole time. His controlling ways have not changed at all. She is the only bargaining chip he has since I don’t care about the house or any of the possessions or money. All I care about is my D & of course my dog.

I told the atty that my Dad was setting me up in a duplex while I sort this mess out and he advised me to take everything I wanted when I go, including my daughter and to just tell H when he could see her…sort of how he has been behaving towards me.

I know there are a few atty’s on this board…does any of this sound reasonable? Maybe I am naïve but I didn’t think I could just take my daughter/dog/furniture and leave…I just want an amicable separation so we can continue MC and possibly save our M. But if I go this route my controlling H will just flip out and there will be no saving the M.