One of Dr.GLovers exercises is for the "nice guy" to go some where new away from regular surroundings and influences and try new behaviors. This is "safer" for a nice guy.
This is completely not the same but I know the moment that I started to break free from dealing with the whole nice guy thing just a few years ago.
Shopping for peanut butter.
I was going to the store to pick up some things and my wife mentions that we are out of peanut butter and could I get some. So there I am looking at a selection of peanut butter and thinking to myself " I don't know what one to buy ", but there was another voice in there as well.
"you got the wrong one", it was my wife's voice in my head. I was afraid that I was going to get the wrong one, actually thats not true I knew that I was going to get the wrong one. I'm sure that some people can relate to that feeling and maybe even the other voice in your head.
That was it I realized that it was ok if I got the one that I wanted as well that I was perfectly capable of making a good choice and could handle if it did piss her off a bit.
Walked home with the organic peanut butter, she asked if I got the PB and she took it out of the bag and asked "why did you get this one?"
"It was the only organic one" I replied calmly, she paused for half a beat and then just put it in the cupboard and went on putting things away. It was nothing really but for myself it was the turning point.
I know it's not the same kind of thing but I do really believe in work of Dr.GLover as being really on the mark but he does warn that some relationships will be sent to an overdue grave.
But more than I believe in Dr.Glovers work I believe in you.
