Yes, the ST is definitely convinced he is dealing with a perfect example of attachment theory (which has been known to be called Madonna/Whore complex but there has been no research and/or confirmation of that theory but there has of the attachment theory - years of it)
ST says H is a text-book example of attachment theory
H's way of dealing with things has been that way since he was a kid. He was born and given up for adoption at the age of 2-3 weeks. He never formed a close bond with his adoptive mother either - thus the beginning of a very long, long attachment complex
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
Well the past two days have been straight from hell.
It started when I got a phone call (at 12:30 am - which is always a bad sign to begin with) from the police asking me if I was Heywyre, to which I replied I was. I instantly thought H was in an accident because he had left for work just about an hour earlier
But then they said is "@@@" your brother, to which I said "please tell me he's ok"
To make a long story short, my baby brother (45 years of age - some baby eh?) tried to commit suicide by pumping exhaust into his car, after he had taken some sleeping pills.
There are a number of spin-offs that compounded this situation but the main one is depression. He is still in hospital being assessed and will most likely be there for at least another week or two (depending on how he responds to the medication). They are giving him a new one because, obviously, the last one didn't work (celexa).
The hospital is a 1� hours drive from my house (if you go at 1 am like I did Tuesday night) but sometimes close to double that during rush-hour. I didn't get home until 11 pm Wednesday night so needless to say, I was exhausted and, wouldn't you know it, it was my first day on the job as an employee where I have been doing contract work for a couple of months (however they were EXTREMELY supportive even if I did feel guilty).
I went back to the hospital today and they are taking him out of the PAU (psychiatric assessment unit) and putting him into a "normal" psych ward tomorrow (thank goodness, wow there sure are some real nutbars there)
They are also considering transferring him to a hospital closer to where I live, which would be nice.
So after two very, very long days, numerous phone calls to his employer, his good friend, family etc I will be hitting the sack at my regular time which will be very welcomed. I still have to find a way of getting his car from in town back to my place (as it sits accumulating storage fees each day)
H and I have also talked about having him come live with us for a while until he is back on his feet. He's my favorite sibling so that shouldn't be a problem (of course that might change if I live with him huh?)
H was VERY supportive of the idea and even suggested it might help him if he can talk to H, knowing he understands what my brother is going through
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
So sorry you're having to go through this...and sorry your brother is hurting so much. I'm glad your H is being supportive. Maybe talking to your brother will help put things in perspective for him.
(((((Heywyre))))) Sorry to hear the bad news but thankful your brother is alive.
My 18 yr older brother, that I lived with off and on, also had severe depression problems and spent several weeks in a mental hospital several different times. He had electric shock therapy in the 1950's. Not many meds then.
BB was the med nurse in the psychiatric department at a local hospital. Do all you can to keep your brother on his meds. BB said so many people that have serious problems don't take their meds correctly or don't tell their Dr. what is going on in their mind.
H and I have also talked about having him come live with us for a while until he is back on his feet. That sounds so very helpful to your brother and kind of you..
If you do it, be up front with some rules you workout with his Dr. before hand. Some people need tough love more than sympathy. BB has seen the sympathy back-fire.
Nothing wrong with tough love. It works so much better than bending rules and letting small slip-ups pass.
*So* sorry to hear this ... I know one feels so helpless. Snatching at positive straws, it is wonderful that your husband is being supportive.
Try not to worry about your job. Be as open as you feel comfortable being .. I think and hope you'll find that most people are very understanding about proper priorities in these situations.
Take care of yourself as well as possible.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
Thank you, everyone, for all your kind wishes and support
My brother is still very emotional (understandably) at this point but is coming around. He is going to be moved to another psych ward today (less restraints - so that is positive for him)
This weekend will consist of going to visit him as much as possible (of course) and trying to get his car moved here (not something I am looking forward to)
I called my sister back east last night to tell her and her first reaction was exactly what I thought it would be "I'll be on a plane tomorrow" to which I replied, "no, that is not what he needs right now". My sister, bless her heart, means well but can be extremely overbearing. This is NOT what he needs right now. Yes, he needs some understanding but he also needs very strong guidance to get him back on track. I believe my H and I can provide that for him.
My main concern right now is when I talk to him about staying on his meds, coming to live with us etc. he just looks blankly at me and that scares me. I am wondering if he is still thinking about taking his life when he gets out, which is why I am pleased they are keeping him there for a while yet.
I finally got some sleep last night which was welcomed for sure. Thank goodness today is Friday
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
When I was at the hospital yesterday, my brother mentioned the psychiatrist had been in to see him and had suggested EST (electric shock treatment) to him - this, of course scared the crap out of both of us because our father had it many, many years ago and it was a disaster.
The P said their success rate with EST is about 80-85%, as compared to AD which only run about 30-40% (which I find hard to believe). Needless to say, this is something my brother is going to have to think long and hard about. Personally, I don't think I would want him to go there and I am concerned they might be using him as a guinea pig
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
I heard a couple of years ago that they've been bringing EST back and improving it - they've got the brain mapped out a whole lot better than they used to, and they can use less intense and better targeted shocks.
Still pretty scary, though, if they're talking about doing it to you.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
