I love the fridge analogy. It works on so many levels.
Well, it's still on going, just like my sitch. It turned semi-cold, then back to warm, until I took off the panel inside the freezer & cleared out the frost around the condenser & now the freezer not working that well, along with the refrigerator/food part. At this point I feel like I'm been DBing the @%*# thing & ready for at least a separation at best
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How often does your H stay overnight? This happened a lot during my S. It usually meant odd sorts of charged situations, but to be honest - if i could keep it together, it was usually kinda fun.
Are these very platonic visits? Businesslike, even?
He started staying here about a month & 1/2 ago, 1 or 2 times a week. They've been a mix of kinda fun/platonic/business like- just to keep me on my toes.
When I do stay on said toes, it does works out the best.
I've been making it a "Great" Day with lots of positive attitude.
H called & said a work friend was taking him by to retrieve a car from the body shop where it had been since I took him to drop it off on Sat, & would be coming by to drop it off in the driveway in back.
I called him back w/in a few minutes & said that was fine, sounding very happy. Shows up with young work friend, I say hello, exchange a little happy small talk & tell him I'm on my way out. He says he'll call me soon to talk about tomorrow's plans.
Forgot my Ipod for working out, come back in & H is offering friend a beer. The friend looks "scared", like he's not quite sure of......what, I don't know. Maybe just uncomfortable, he's young, so maybe he's expecting a brawl.... an argument, who know's?
H acts like I'm still his W & it's just a natural exchange.
I left smiling & in a hurry to get going.
I feel in really good spirits today. No matter what happens to my M, I'm good & figure he'll prolly be the one with the most angst when his head comes out of the clouds.
Speaking of head in clouds, yesterday he told me that the last competition that he had 3 months ago, was the worst he's ever had in 20 years. It was 2 days after he came home from that one that he dropped the bomb. I have a feeling that I took the hit for that disappointment, or at the very least, that contributed in some way.
I'm determined to "Act as if" tomorrow night. Just haven't decided if I should go out or not. (Where's my friend Still )
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