I said, "Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?" She said, "what...where you jacking off?" H: Yes, as a matter of fact, I was. W: You know, you don't need to tell me that kind of thing. H: I don't want to lie to you. You deserve the truth. W: No, that is just so "in your face." You can exercise some discretion in what you tell me.
Hairdog
Out of curiosity... Why did she ask the question if she did not want to hear the answer?
Because she wanted to scold you?
Just like she is scolding you for "selfishly" wanting to spend a measly $200 bucks on yourself.
She sure does keep scorecards...
I remember back when she had come across some extra money and bought herself a new digital camera...
You started playing around with it then and were told off because that was "hers"! Where the hell does she get off?
You say when she takes trips, she pulls out the financial proof that she has "earned" it and that it is her money to spend. What a crock!
When she works those "extra" hours, is that of any burden to you? Do you have to spend more time rearing your daughter? Does that not have value?
When you do the prep work on a remodel to save the family money, do you get any compensation?
My god Harry, you have to take a step back and really try to look at the dynamics of this relationship.
This is a "mother" child relationship. YUCK!!!!
This needs to be a partnership! Not a parent/child or employer/employee relationship.
I don't care how bad you screwed up the finances in the past, she has got to let it go, and of that you have to insist.
You have even told her now that you think you have been much better at responsibilities and remembering things. She asks you how you measure that and then disagrees with your assessment. Did you turn around and ask her how SHE measures it? WHY she measures it?
SolidMechanic had some pretty good advice as well. What a hypocrite she is.
I don't know how you can stand it.
Don't take too much offense with me here as I was definitely much the same. I did not like to confront, I lied about little things just because I knew there would be an issue and I didn't want to rock the boat.
I have three kids, 1 in college, 1 in high school and one still in elementary school.
I stayed for a long time "because of the children"
Then, as I was really spinning downward, emotionally almost broken with hardly any self respect.
I figured that I would rather show my kids that if you are so unhappy, YOU have the power to change things. I would rather teach them a lesson that if they find themselves in an unhappy marriage, it is OK to leave.
So I did.
I have since learned a lot. We split custody 50/50 legal and physical.
The kids adjust, they love us both.
But my ex... She HATES my guts. I think she had for a long time. I think with her total lack of respect of me, she just can't accept that I left. I mean if ANYONE was going to leave, well by golly, it was supposed to be HER! She was the decision maker, not ME!
Anyways, not trying to tell you to leave, but as long as you plan on staying, you need to step up and try and make this something you can be happy with.
My friends tell me, that Ive been such a fool, And I have to stand by and take it baby, all for lovin you. Drown myself in sorrow, and I look at what youve down. But nothin seems to change, the bad times stay the same, And I cant run.
Sometimes I feel, sometimes I feel, Like I been tied to the whipping post Tied to the whipping post, Tied to the whipping post, Good lord, I feel like Im dyin.
