Bob, Glad to see you that you and the kids are doing okay. As far as the custody issue goes, I would document everything, visits to and from wife, etc. I kept a a little daily planner in my purse (not that you carry a purse, ha), just keep it convenient. Write stuff down when you think about it, keep a journal of how you are feeling and kid are. It will keep you organized. Take Husband's advice and don't speak ill of your W in front of kids, I know it's hard to do, but it will work out for your favor. I don't think it's over for you and your wife yet. I think she will realize what she is missing. She will miss you and the kids. She'll get lonely.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I hope so Yoyo. I do still love her and feel that she could be a wonderful Mom and Wife again. Too many years of disapointments and a support system that is unable to support them selves. I'm trying not to read to far into it, but her going to the counselor? Hmmmm... Who knows. I've had the kids with me since Fri. She's had them maybe an hour or two on a couple of days. I've been keeping the kids close as to not have them "kidnapped". I don't mean that literally. But, I made it clear that they were my charges now. Know one has challenged that. Cool. I spent a few minutes with my MIL yesterday. She was removing a bunch of her stuff from our basement. Looks as though my wife may not be there long. Social services called for my wife too. I guess she'll need the assistance, but then again I have the kids, so maybe not(?). Friends are offering to help with my kids also. I think it's good for them to be around my friends. They weren't exposed to my world much. They seem to like it so far. Document. You got it. Writing now.
And she has a couseling session again tomorrow. Interesting. She wants to take the kids. I have two friends who will pick the kids up afterwards and watch them till I get back from work.
Wow Bob!! I haven't read your whole story but I am proud of you making such a stand. It takes alot.....Its great you have such good friends. Hang in there.....We are here for you......
Stuff. Wife has seen counselor twice this week. About the kids. She wanted to go to lawyers too. Counselor has asked us both and we've agreed to work together on the kids and stop lawyer involvement. We will talk via phone about kids. So, tell me more about moving on and GAL. Thanks.
Update: NC since 9 Jul 07. Contact about kids via one phone call, the rest thru text, now changed to email. I'm starting to feel much better!!!
Kids are doing great. I've told them the truth of the matter. We've had a couple of long talks. They said that they worried they'd be abandoned, that buy leaving WS that I would leave them. Older one said too "Never not tell them what's going on again". The little one is not happy with her mother's actions. The older is quiter. She asked who OM was. All of your guy's advice concerning my kids has helped a lot.
WS still has made slight "Poisoning of the Well" statements" in her conversations with kids. Mostly claiming that I'm mad at her and that that's why we are divorcing. And that she's done nothing "wrong".
All in all, the kids and I are in a much better place. The "chaos" in WS world seems to still be happening. SIL's BF ended up in hospital after getting his ass whipped at bar for the umpteenth time. Poopy sewer water flood at WS house that sat for a few days. Stuff DD's have mentioned.
DD's say they like our "new" house. They are here, "home", the vast majority of nites. They have play dates and a couple sleepovers per week at WS house. They like that we have family meals, that there is no chaos and feel taken care of here. Life is good. DD's are good. I love 'em. I think they will survive this well.
Funny, only roller-coaster for a few hours about a week ago. Hmmmmm... I like it !!!!!!!!!!!! BoB
Wow, I'm so proud of you Bob. You're a great man and father. Keep up the good work. Those babies know you are there for them and love them. They say honesty is the best policy. Just remember not to tell them more than they can handle.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
