Thanks again ROOT. You are right, I need to not get my hopes up, but I do see today as a step in the right direction. I have already done a few things. I did tell him today how the kids and I went out of town and visited a friend and how they had fun at the pizza place on Saturday, he was surprised by that.
I have already told him a couple times I was going out, and just went and hung at a friends, but he didn't know that. LOL
I had my hair done and it looks great a few weeks ago, he even commented on it. I have been losing weight, and everyone around me is noticing. I plan on getting a gym membership and getting back in shape.
You are so right, I need him to want to come back, to be able to tell me he was stupid, and that he is sorry for the pain he put me through. I know full well he is NOT ready for that at all, but I do think I have him guessing right now.
It feels good to just be able to do something not only for myself, and my kids, but something that may help us reconcile, versus me laying in bed crying being miserable (the first two weeks). I am starting to feel my old self come back, the girl I was before I was a mom and a wife. That does not say that I do not get lonely, it sucks really bad not having someone to talk to at night, or sit with me and watch tv with, but I did it before him I can do it again. At least this time I have my kids to keep me busy.
Yes the foster will babysit sometimes. Problem is the 15 month old is quite a handful, I usually only have my foster son watch the baby if he is sleeping and I just need to run to the store etc. He is just to much to handle for even the best of adults. LOL
