Hummmmm.... sounds positive, but don't get your hopes up. These things can go up and down quite a lot before things are over and you really do want your husband to learn a good lesson and hopefully, at some time in the future, BEG for you back. My husband is not the begging type, but I finally learned that having him REALLY WANT to come home without any push from me (and no promises of "change" or "things will be better" blah blah blah) was really the best thing. That doesn't mean I didn't own up to problems in the relationship and wouldn't try to be a better wife, it's just I might not always be perfect, or someone he'd always be happy with and that's something he'd just have to accept.. and be thankful for what he did have (i.e. a best friend, lover, someone he could always count on, always there for him though thick and thin, wouldn't have an affair on him, will love him until we're old and grey --even if he does become stupid again and leaves!-- great listener, etc... Hey I'm very valuable and YOU are too!!!!!)
Anyhow, I'm glad you are making friends in your neighborhood and perhaps trading off on child care... For a short stretch of time can the foster child babysit (for a bit of money) or even the 12-year-old? I know some kids are more responsible than others. My daughter could probably have run the White House when she was 9, but I'm not sure my son will EVER be able to take care of himself.
I'm also REALLY glad you are being a good listener to your husband, letting him rattle off about OW and not showing any jealousy or anger (that my dear will make a very good impression!). Always take the "high road," try to be tactful and treat him like an aquaintance you'd like to make a good impression on. If you mess up apologize and say something like, "Wow, that was rude of me. I wasn't thinking.. my apologies!" AGREE WITH EVERYTHING HE SAYS! Even if it's totally wrong and he's completely insane (although that does not include legal or financial matters). If he says, we weren't getting a long and this is the right thing just smile and say, "I think you're right... I understand... that makes sense... " and then change the subject to non-relationship stuff. Smile ALOT!!!!
And start looking HOT all the time!!!! Any physical 180s you can do to look great are to be done now. Buy a push-up bra, a few attractive outfits, do your nails, hair etc... hire a babysitter and "look" like you are going out for a night with friends. Heck, take yourself out for a chocolate martini and then rattle around the bookstore for a few hours. Never say what you are doing or who you are with. Be mysterious!!!!
Also, do REALLY fun things with the kids. Take them to fairs, lakes, the beach, etc... take lots of photos and give him copies of those photos so he can see what he's missing. Have a FABULOUS FAMILY without him!!! Create that for yourself and the kids. Make you and your family the best place to be.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
