Great update, christa! If he's dreaming about you -- no matter what it is -- he's thinking about you. Trust me. I dream about my W 4+ nights a week, and I know it is because of how much I think about her. Sure, H is lonely because he's on the road, but he called you about it. That says a lot! And don't worry so much about the flat out "no" about dinner sometime. He's confused on what he wants to do right now, and probably doesn't want to make it easy if you want to come back either. He is kind of like the WAS right now in that he's going to get closer, then pull away. Get closer again, then pull away. Just let those pull away moments roll of your back like water on a duck's back. Stay focused. Also, try not to be too unavailable. I would suggest being more available than not right now.
Thanks GD...your advice is always so helpful and reasurring....I just hate living in limbo land...and I get so dang frustrated. He said on the phone sat. night that he wanted to pick up our dog Cade Monday or Tuesday and he would call me....and still no phone call....I know..patience is a neccessity...I keep reading that chpater in DB...I have an appt today with my DB coach...she always pumps me up!!! great to hear from you...and that your GAL is going so good!! Just a thought from a WAW...sometimes I cried when my H is out having all of his "glory moments" and I was stuck at home doing absolutly nothing....maybe that is why she was so upset on the phone too!! It just hurt to see him " moving along with life! Just a thought my two cents!! thanks again!!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Just a thought from a WAW...sometimes I cried when my H is out having all of his "glory moments" and I was stuck at home doing absolutly nothing....maybe that is why she was so upset on the phone too!! It just hurt to see him " moving along with life!
So when you were the one who walked away and was happy with your choice at the time, you still cried when H was moving on with his life? What an interesting dynamic. I hope that it means that she still has some feelings for me -- I just can't figure out why else she would be crying.
C I have read thru your stuff, not sure I can figure out what you think "flipped" your H to the other side of this equation Do you have any specific thoughts there? He is now living the batchelor life again? What was really missing for him to do that?
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
He just acts differntly each time that we talk...I think, according to the posts that I have read...this may be how a LBS reacts when a WAW attempts to come back. What I mean by he is living the bachelor life...he just goes out a lot...bought a harley, even though he can not afford it (told me he was contemplating bankruptcy). I am not sure that he"flipped" just think he also has a lot on his mind...and he gets close for a while, then retracts...not sure what that means? When we were married and things were good...he still had a lot of social contact with his friends, so it wasn't like he was isolated, or that I kept him from them...so I don't know that anything was missing...I just think he is hurting and this is how he is dealing with the pain...or this is my best guess at it...
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
just starting to read it...just got off the phone with my DB coach she has a new one for me/us to read...How to improve your marriage without talking about it...by Dr. Patricia Love she feels it is even better than 5 LL. Had a good session...gave me some pointers on boosting his confidence...and working on my patience. She pulled out the good points of our two phone conversations and the bad and helped me figure out what he was really saying...also says it wasn't anger he was trying to get accross to me...it was hurt...I understand that now and understand why he feels that way.
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
Just reading up on what's current with your sitch.
I agree with GD. He's definitely thinking about you but you still have to exercise patience because right now he's on the fence about what he wants to do. He enjoys the single life but at the same time does not want to let go fully.
Good luck! Keep us posted.
Me: 40 W: 39 D12 D9 D6 ILYBNILWY: 06/15/07 "We can work things out": 06/21/07 Currently: Still together, DB'ing every day
Thanks Trip and BNP...always like to here feedback...I really need to work on patience...it's deffinetly not my strong suit!! I am so goal oriented...see the goal achieve the goal..tomorrow if possible!! So haven't heard from him since saturday...even though he told me he was going to come and pick up our dog monday or tuesday...i'm wondering if he got a job...which would be great!! My DB coach also pulled a lot of things together for me...which is good...so I'll just keep doing what i'm doing....reading a lot, GAL, having fun...staying positive...and coming here and getting advice!! Thanks guys...you're all the best!!
H-32 Me-29 T-10years M-4yr (10/04) Me- WAW 1/07 I filed for D 2/07 D put on hold 5/07 H re-files for D 9/08 WOW! trying MC 10/08
"Work like you don't need the money, dance like nobody is watching, love like you've never been hurt!"
