I detect a trend where she goes off and spends time DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS
Except the "retreat" was definitely something for herself. While not exactly "fun", it was a Buddhist meditation retreat and she does enjoy that sort of thing.
Hairdog,
Just go. Suggest to her that the next time she is sitting on her zafu, that she meditate on her desire to cling to every shiny penny that you earn.
Don't get into any book keeping argument. She wants to keep score, so let her, as long as she is also tracking the financial value of your Federal civil service retirement package (pension + health insurance).
Do it for you, because it is the right thing for you, because you are a big boy who has earned a little time off on your own to have fun. Ask her to meditate on why she has no sympathetic joy for your impending trip (sympathetic joy is one of the four brahmaviharas).
