Yup - definately got the cynicism! He commented on the clean house saying "what, you think b/c the house is clean now that is going to solve our problems". Me = "No, of course I don't think that, but knowing now how much impact it had to you and our relationship, how could I not clean it now? I know you feel right now that you can't work on anything, but in the meantime, I need to do what I can do to work on the things that were wrong and make positive changes".
I have tried so hard and I think I have done a decent job of being non-judgemental, listening to what he says and being accepting of my faults and not being defensive about them. So far I have gotten nothing in return, but I am OK with that for now - I don't know how much longer - but for now I can suck it up and deal with it and work on my patience.
It is important for me to show him through this process that I am strong, but loving and truly sorry for any actions that I did that frustrated and/or hurt him. That I will not say mean things to him (as he has said some hurtful things to me), that I will not badmouth him to our friends/family, that I will be respectful of his need for space. That I remain true to myself and to us & try not to play any mind games. That way, if he does decide that he wants to leave, I will know that I did the best that I could and he will always have to have respect for that.
