OK, your wife thinks you're lazy, scatterbrained, and useless. That's a problem.
The bigger problem is you still, on some level, believe her and everyone throughout your childhood that told you the same thing. That's why you act like you need to convince her to give you permission to go on a $200 trip. That's why you act from a position of "mea culpa" whenever you talk about finances. That's why you didn't already book your flight and buy your concert ticket, after having told her what you're going to do. That's why you let her talk to you the way she does, and you either hold still and take it or blow up at her.
I'd like to know how long she thinks she gets to hold your past screwups over your head. Seriously. When you get to a point where you have let go of your past screw-ups, then you can ask her that question and participate in the ensuing conversation wherever it leads with dignity and equanimity. Till then, your shame over that issue is a big fat red button that she can push whenever she feels like it, and that she'll bump accidentally all the time on top of that, and you'll get nowhere with her.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
