It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Dom R]

So, are you suggesting that I DO become part of the harem? Is that all I am worth as his wife?

no no NO!

more like the "start from scratch" viewpoint. or at least a "restart".

I'm saying:
Lets say you were "on your own". "dating". looking for a new relationship.
First, you would potentialy identify someone you might be interested in dating. learn a bit about him. then start officially on the first few "dates".

I think most women would not wish to continue "dating" a man, who was at the same time dating other women in the same way.

So, I'm suggesting starting from the "dating" level of expectations for each other. Try to get to know each other with "fresh eyes" (I think that's in DB book?).

At the same time, don't drop your standards.
Just like you would dump a guy you were "dating", if he were also dating someone else... make it clear those are, and always have been(?) your dating standards, and if he wants to "date" other women at the same time... you're not interested in dating him.

This is good for multiple reasons:

1. you dont demean hyourself by being "part of a harem"
2. it shows you have backbone to him
3. it shows HIM, you are not a pushover, and you will NOT just be there at his beck and call. If he disrespects you by being with other women, you will not be available to him any more. Because those are your standards, and you're sticking to em.

The trouble will be if he wants to play the "serial monogamy" game: "date" you, until he finds someone... date them for a bit.. STOP dating them come back to you.. find someone else...

you may have to decide how to handle that sort of thing.
With a bit of luck.. if he doesnt have his eye on someone already.. he will just agree to "date" you, for his 2 months of celebacy, and if you stay strong but not clingy/pressuring as far as "your relationship" goes.. he may wish to continue exclusively with you.

Once a week, just aint going to cut it, though. I think you know that. If you're dating someone, you want to spend more time with them. if you want to spend more time with them, you see them more than once a week.

Trouble is, hyou cant push him/bargain him for that i think.
I think you have to use some feminine whiles on him

(how DO women get guys to ask them out again, without asking the guy directly? if you didnt do that much before you were married.. maybe you should ask some female friends for tips

I'd say focus on having a good "first date", and work it from there, carefully.

just a guess.