Surviving an Affair

[ediemarie]

Hi RG -
Welcome! You've found a place that can help.

I have gone through (and am continuing to go through) a very similiar situation. I was in a career that had a lot of traveling but paid really well and my husband encouraged me to keep that job - and it was a job, i wasn't even happy in. That job was one of the reasons he cited for cheating. I can totally relate to what you are going through.

I wish that there were some sage advice to get you through the anger and betrayal. Really, unfortunately, it is just something you have to work through. I found that the only thing that helped get it out was writing about it (either here or journaling, or both) talking about it (to a therapist or friend) or focusing on something else - such as exercising, cleaning the house, taking a walk, going for a run, etc. I always found that doing something physical helped worked the emotion out - not sure if that's true for everyone, but it helped me.

Clearly there were problems in your marriage - his A was a symptom of those problems - take this as a wake up call and try to pin-point what those issues may be. A counselor could come in handy here, whether you go by yourself or with your H. If you haven't done so already, read Divorce Remedy, it has some really constructive advice that most of us here try to follow.

I am in no means an expert and still struggle with my own sitch, but just thought I'd weigh in.

Hang in there! It DOES get better. Not only that, the fact that your H is willing to be so open now is HUGE! It shows that he really is trying to rebuild trust. Oh, one other thing that has helped me (and recently my H)is MarriageBuilders.com

Hugs
EM