Nomopo Trying to Exercise Patience/Manage Emotions

[Nomopo]

Hey L, thanks for both posts. A few more ideas:

Not right now - I honestly am not sure where I would put one, since I am not separated - just stressed, maritally speaking.

Well, if you do, I find newcomers has lots of traffic, and even if you aren't a newbie, I don't think anyone would mind. If you do, ping me please so I can book mark it.

Not knowing the details of your current R, I'm not sure if this is just paranoia that comes from distant history, or if there is more reason for it.

It's the former. He has been more than available by phone, e-mail, and IM this summer.

Well his availability is an excellent sign.

I guess I am just struggling with old feelings of abandonment that I thought were resolved, and old fears that I also thought were resolved.

It makes sense and is normal I suspect. You ought to re-read the chapter in DR on infidelity. There will be some tips in there on things you (and especially your H if he is willing) can do to calm your fears. If you have the time, take a quick re-read. It would take an hour or two at most.

The funny thing is, I think the area of Arkansas (northwest corner) that we are moving to is beautiful

I was in Fayetteville for the first time a few years ago for a football game and it was BEAUTIFUL. I had no idea.

I think I will do better at this once the situation has calmed a bit - it's been something of a shock being a parent alone to our almost two-year-old and our five-year-old.

Agreed.

The overwhelming thing I am hearing from you in this message is "the keys to some of this are in your hand - don't feel powerless." It reminds me to be empowered, and to not give up and become a victim of circumstances and situations. I forget this, especially when old, ugly fears arise.

We all need reminders. And the other message I want to convey is to look for solutions. Your feelings are normal. Now what can you and H do about them? And I wonder if he has anything he is struggling with. If you share with him, maybe he will be inspired to share with you. And then we all win!

Don't shut up! It helped incredibly that you compassionately listened to my pity-party, made some gentle suggestions, and reminded me of what I could do to make my situation (and my life) a good place to be.

What goes around comes around L! I still owe you a few.

Nomo