It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Dom R]

Yup.. you'd better make a separate account for yourself and put some money in there before he spends it all.

If he notices and asks why, you might tell him that you feel the need to be covered for lawyers fees in case he decides to push for divorce.
Which is the truth after all. its why you need the the money.

Do NOT ask first on this. If you have a few thousand in savings, move a few thousand out to where only you can get to it. Lawyers retainers fees start at 3,000, and sometimes are as high as 5,000. you have to pay that up front, before they will agree to take on your case fully (after initial consultation)

So, the statement about only dating me would basically take care of me seeing if he wants to "work on the relationship", yes?

I didnt quite follow what you said. so I'll say something else in reply to that

Dating you is not him "working on the relationship". Dont say that, dont even think it.

I think you are a very, very long way from him wanting to work on the relationship. I think you are back to a similar state of "dating" him. you are in the position of convincing someone you've never dated before, that he might want to date you long-term. Sad as that may sound.
I think you're in the situation of re-proving to him, that dating you can be fun and enjoyable, and stimulating at the emotional level.
he needs to see you as more than just a physical release and housekeeper
but its something you have to attract him with, not force him or rationalize him into.

disclaimer: all these suggestions are just based on stuff I've read about other people, in my year of separation now :-/


It's interesting that he hasnt started packing.
it's pathetic that, he doesnt have "mommy" (YOU) to help him pack, so he gets real-life DADDY to help him pack.
What is he, 60? going on 70? sheesh. selfish.


If he still drags his feet for some reason about actually moving, and still stays at your home.. you might play the role of slightly pushy but still appealing wife, and tell him that you want him to take you out somewhere fun (instead of him bumming around by himself "to all hours". But dont say that to HIM. this parenthesis is just for YOU.)

cant remember if you have kids, i think you do.. if so, make sure you have childcare so that you can stay out together AS LONG AS HE WANTS.. all night if the mood takes him.