The way I see it, you are on the right track so far...at least you're busy formulating a plan and the appraisal thing sounds great! Have you ever considered doing title research as well? Perhaps that's something you could freelance and create a flexible schedule for you. Just something else to think about.
Believe me, I understand the constraints you're under...with three young children and no help, its extremely difficult to jump start your life. But I wonder how much your plans would be derailed by moving back in with SO and getting caught up in all his drama at this point. At some point I would predict that his drama would overwhelm you and you'd be further in a hole than you are now.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
