I dont really know what has happened but he is off the deep end. he arrived aq bit ago to change and to brush his teeth... how sweet. JK.
He did not say two words to me nor I to him. I am so upset and yet crying has not begun and I do not want to be in the fetal position for days like last year.
He has said he is done with me ....
...it is funny how he called immediately after he left and never called back. I did very well and did not phone him,,, he most likely just would have been mean. I am proud of myself for staying strong.. I normally would be blowing up his phone. Pleading for his return and for us to be a family. He said very vulgar cruel things to me yesterday and yes his drinking has escalated to the point he does it most everyday and I do belieive he may be abusing some sort of drug too. For him to make that comment about )W was beyond very low. He also drove by earlier in the evening .... he did not stop and then called to see if his crew had arrived and I said .
NO noone is here.
He really had no reason to call all he had to do was call them and ask them where they were at.
Also last nite when he arrived he did not have his shoes on.. why take off your shoes if you only came to get clothes?
I THINK HE WAS EXPECTING ME TO BE SLEEPING AND HE WAS JUST GOING TO GO TO BED AND THEN WHEN HE SAW ME AWAKE HE NEEDED TO ACT "MACHO" and keep up his charade. Fuuny thing cause I was laying down but could not sleep,, and then I got up to see if I had any posts and he walked in very quietly.
I dunno I will carry on and be strong as I can considering but this will be a long road. I THINK HE IS WONDERING WHY I AM NOT BEGGING OR PLEADING LIKE LAST TIME... THIS 3RD TIME IS A CHARM I FEEL JUST NUMB AND BLIDSIGHTED. uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggh! aND NO APPETITE.... WELL MAYBE I WILL LOOK LIKE A TROPHY WIFE SOON AND THIS WILL BE A GREAT BOOST TO MY SELF ESTEEM. TRYING TO BE FUNNY BUT I AM NOT LAUGHING EITHER. JUST DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY WE WERE LOOKING AT CARS HE WAS TALKING ABOUT BUYING ME A NEW ONE AND BUYING OUR FIRST HOUSE TOO.
