still building the missing half

[HalfMissing]

I think I am starting to see what the C meant about H being messed up and unable to communicate and be a parent. One good piece of advice that the C gave me was to enroll S7 is a sports program. She thought it would be good for his confidence and to take his mind off the D.

I decided to try a hockey program since H played as a child. He spent years playing hockey with his father as the coach of his team. H often told me how much he enjoyed it. So I got some info on a good program and a friend is giving me some old equipment that S7 can use to save on costs. Last night I told H about the program and asked if he would be willing to help pay the costs and drive S7 to it on his Sundays with him. The only response I got was "ok". I then put S7 on the phone so that he could tell his father how excited he was about it and they could talk about it.

Later I went for a walk with the kids and we were discussing all the plans we had for the fall. I told S7 "Isn't it great that you will be playing hockey like Daddy did?" S7 was surprised and asked me all about it since his father hadn't said a word about it when they talked. Isn't that the saddest thing? H is so depressed and unable to communicate that he couldn't even share this information with his son. Looking back, I realize that I was always facilitating these conversations. I would have to start these conversations before H could share something with the children. I just don't know how much of this I have the energy or opportunity to do anymore. I have so much pity for H with what he is missing in life.