Last night the W was supposedly out with friends eating. I thought I was okay and didn't want to worry about it. But as time went on, I became to suspect she was out with some OM. When she got home, she didn't speak to me, she just went and took a shower. After she got out the shower, she still didn't speak to me. Which was weird because she had at least been talking to me as of late. Now, I became suspicious earlier in the week because she had shaved down there and she doesn't usually do that. Well, after a while of her not saying anything to me and just going to get in the bed, i just went in the room and asked her if she slept with OM. She said no. I asked if she had been with him, she said no.
I then asked where were her underwear. I ASKED FOR HER PANTIES PEOPLE. I can't believe I went so far as to ask her for her panties. But here is the kicker, she couldn't find them. I asked her to help ease my mind and show me her panties. She couldn't. I started begging and pleading for her to find them. She couldn't. She saw how upset I was getting. I thought I was going to go insane so I had to leave the house. I left the house for a little while to try to gather my thoughts.
She is asleep right now. I haven't been able to sleep. I don't know what is supposed to happen when she wakes up. I really wish she would leave and go somewhere. I don't think we can be around each other today.
Instead of acting As If, I went into some serious anti-DBing. I know I have done detrimental harm to my hopes of restoring my marriage. I don't know how to recover from asking my wife for her panties. I don't know what the conversation is going to be today. or even if there is going to be any conversation. I just feel numb right now.
