Your wife's lies are amusing. I don't know if I'd let her get away with it. At least not with the older daughter. She's old enough to know what's going on and tell her mother what she thinks.
When my husband had an affair, I told the kids. (They were 23, 21 and 17.) Their reactions gave me strength. They didn't even have to think about it. They were totally on my side, and none of them was afraid to tell their father what they thought. They let him know that he wasn't just leaving me. He was leaving the family. And the rejection was not of just me, but of the whole family.
